If bad luck comes in threes...

When me mate were an apprentice (not an apprentice) his shop mangler tol
him to go to the stores and get something - can't unforget what it were,
but it sounded unlikely - like 'a handful of stuffing'.

He grinned and said "I wasn't born yesterday!" and it waas only on the
third bidding that he noticed said mangler was turning a shade of purple
and his safety-vlave was beginning to hiss that he read the runes, and
went to get said item.

My foreman at Murex thought yer Rusty, an ex-teacher, was as green as he
was cabbage-looking. The shop was out of ore due to a seamen's strike,
and we were just killing time by sweeping an already spotless area. (We
molished 99.999% pure tantalum and niobium).

Smudger said: "Go and ask **** (name lost down the back of someone's
sofa) for a long wait, will you?" No doubt he gooved I couldn't see how
he didn't spell weight innit.

So I went to the stores and told said storeman: "If Smudger rings to ask
where I am, tell him I'm in the canteen."

several of hours later, in come Smudger. "Where the Hell have you been?"
"You wanted a long wait, and I got you one." I replied.

"Didn't think you'd know that one,,,"

I hoped in vain for erraands to get stands and the like.

 

<adds my three penn'orth>

 

On the internet no one can tell if your face is straight.
or if you're a dog, for that matter.

--
Kind Regards,
Nikitta
"If Elves are plural of Elvis the plot of eg. Lord of the Rings changes
quite drastically. Perhaps I should try to read it again with these new
glasses... " Rasmus Bøg Hansen, AFDA

 

I really liked that man. Allegedly, a fellow academic asked him why he
made such an exhibition of himself on the haunted fishtank.

Prof P indicated that it was for the lucre.

Academic asked if he'd ever considered that his fellows might club
together and pay him more to shut up...

 

I can reveal that it is inadvisable to attempt to dry touchpaper in a
michaelwave. After the initial orange flash, tissue paper soaked in a
solution of saltpetre tends to turn the inside of the oven an even
bottleship grey on the point of being dry,

Fortunately, I had enough time (several of hours) to scour away the
evidence before the return of the mater.

 

petrolcan wrote:

/snip/

I wish we'd videoed the demonstration of how to cook a negg in a
michaelwave - one of me mother's fiends pricked the shell and put the
egg in the middle of the 'floor' (Philips, with no turntable).

After a short time the egg began to rock, then a stream of spurtystuff
was extruded through the pinhole, and the egg did several of circuits of
the oven in various planes before it came to rest, emptied of contents,
the which were festooned round the inside.

Hadn't laughed so much for ages innit.

 

After we'd done the CD thing.

Was that after loud cries of CUUUNNNT had been heard after you peeled
the film off the number plate?

I hope so, have a look would you?

 

Oh yeah! Still, ketchup sorted that

No luck so far.

 

On Tue, 24 Aug 2010 17:05:42 +0100, petrolcan

The party at which we torched the microwave - 2004?

I really should have paid attention to the massive over reaction and
seen it as a warning.

Shame. Found any good porn?

 

Hindsight and all that.

Nope but I did find a Christmas video of Cal at 4yo being really cute(1)

(1)It really doesn't last long, does it :-(

 

On Tue, 24 Aug 2010 22:33:07 +0100, petrolcan

Hunt for burning microwave video

No, but I think I prefer the funny young adult stage to the cute
stage. Madam has developed a wicked sense of humour lately. She got an
A in RE despite including the phrase 'which shows you always have a
friend in alcohol' in her essay on the wedding at Cana.

 

Class, well done R

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Tourer, CBR600F-W racebike in the making, TS250C, RD400F
(somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

I'm in two minds sometimes.

Heh, Cal was top of the class in RE last year despite proclaiming himself an
atheist. His teacher said that he expresses his views too much during class

 

I was thinking about this. I love babies and toddlers, they get cute
clothes and are adorable. The 4- 6 age range come out with some funny
things. My favourite one from work is when a little girl couldn't
think of the word for igloo and decided it was a polar bear house.
6-11, if bright are a joy as they are little sponges for knowledge.
11- 13, starting to get awkward but still reasonable. 13 -16 girls
flounce, boys grunt. And they both keep an element of that from 16 on.

I can imagine. Madam was saying she sort of wishes she could believe
something but she's not prepared to turn off her brain for the comfort
some people get from religion. At times it's frightening how alike we
are.