I don't normally c&p funnies from websites but...

These ones from strategypage.com really had me chuckling.



"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just
bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur

"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S.
Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal

"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown
Marine Recruit

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop

"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I
am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."

"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F.
Crickmore (test pilot)

"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."

"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."

"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."

"Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying
club."

"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If
a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, ... The pilot
dies."

"Never trade luck for skill."

The three most common ex pressions (or famous last words) in aviation
are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...! "

"Friendly fire - isn't"

"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight."

"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up
there!"

"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything
about it."

"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely
kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)

"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." Sign
over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970

"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."

"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
power to taxi to the terminal."

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn
off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives,
the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The
pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to
Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

 

Agreed, but a few are still worth the odd smile.

Paul.