I believe I'll avoid Michigan...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070118/lf_afp/usjusticesexoffbeat_070118055859

DETROIT, United States (AFP) - Philanderers beware: spouses caught
cheating in Michigan could end up spending the rest of their life in
prison.

And not the emotional kind.

The state's appeals court recently ruled that extramarital flings can
be prosecuted as first-degree criminal sexual conduct, a felony
punishable by up to life in jail.

"We cannot help but question whether the Legislature actually intended
the result we reach here today," Judge William Murphy wrote in a
unanimous Court of Appeals panel, "but we are curtailed by the language
of the statute from reaching any other conclusion."

"Technically," he added, "any time a person engages in sexual
penetration in an adulterous relationship, he or she is guilty of CSC
I," the most serious sexual assault charge in the state's criminal
code.

Michigan still lists adultery as a felony, although no one has been
convicted of the offense since 1971.

Nobody really expects prosecutors to go after cheating spouses. But the
ruling has the local legal community twittering about its genuine
intended target.

One theory floating around the courthouse is that the judges were
taking a jab at the state Supreme Court, which has decreed that judges
must interpret statutory language adopted by the Legislature literally,
whatever the consequences.

Many other states allow judges to reject a literal interpretation if
they believe it would lead to an absurd result.

Judge Murphy wrote that he encouraged "the Legislature to take a second
look at the statutory language if they are troubled by our ruling."

A spokesman for the attoney general, who publicly admitted to adultery
in November, declined to say whether they would press for legislative
amendments to make it clear that only violent felonies involving an
unwilling victim could trigger a first-degree CSC charge.

"This is so bizarre that it doesn't even merit a response," Rusty Hill
said.

The appeals court decision involved a man convicted of trading
prescription painkillers for sex.

In an attempt to increase his jail time, prosecutors used an obscure
provision of the state's criminal law to charge him with criminal
sexual conduct, which occurs whenever "sexual penetration occurs under
circumstances involving the commission of any other felony."

 

I'm pretty sure that most of the lonely housewives, through-out the fine
state of Michigan, are all in mourning over your decision to avoid us,
Brian, lol. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to go through life
with such a great lack of self control. I don't blame you for not wanting
to take the chance of 'getting caught' up here though, lol. If you should
ever change your mind, give me a call and I'll put on the coffee. Good luck
in the other states you visit, my apologies for the way Michigan legeslators
have spoiled your fun.

Regards,

Vic

 

I *KNEW* IT!!!