How to get a flight upgrade - according to the BBC

I've probably flown 20 30 long-haul business flights. I've never been
upgraded to first although I've always flown routes that are 'business'
routes (Singapore, Tokyo, LA etc.)

I've flown economy long haul a similar amount of times, at one point
going to LA on a fairly regular basis. I can remember one project where
I flew to LA about four times, every flight bar one was upgraded from
*fixed* economy to business.

Mind you, I've flown a shit load of short haul economy flights and only
got upgraded on a handful of occasions, even when I've had a gold or
silver card on the airline and business is just about empty.

IME getting upgraded is something that either happens or it doesn't.

 

Unless it's changed, they used to wipe it down with a little swab which
was then placed in some sort of analyser.

Which reminds me of a colleague who had his laptop with him in Iraq and
was later travelling on a flight out of Oz. The mucky bugger obviously
wasn't washing his hands properly since they detected cordite on his
kit. Cue much excitement at the security desk.

 

The message <-consult.com>

I certainly do - after a chance meeting with a tree in 1966 I have less
than 90° kneebend on the port side (not Port Said).

I wonder if that might qualify me for an upgrade - just to save them
trouble getting me into a seatbelt?

 

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Thanks for that résumé. Very succinctly put.

 

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What? Worse than the Grace L. Furguson Airline even?

 

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from contains these words:

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I have never been upgraded - but then I very seldom fly anywhere, and
the last flight I was on was courtesy of British Caledonian...

(The first ever flight I was on was much more exciting, and within an
ace (not Ace) of being my last.)

 

The message <43edb33e$0$3607$>

I could be stopped everywhere then, as one of my hobbies is target
shooting, and even after a long hot bath traces remain.

 

SG is really good, especially in Raffles Class. JAL is also good but
I've only flown in their business cabin, don't have a clue what the
economy seating is like and given the attitude of the Japanese[1] it's
likely that the seating in economy would have little leg room.

True enough, but the few times I've flown AF in business it's been very
nice.

KLM? ****, the only times I've flown KLM was from Bristol to their main
hub. I would choose to drive an additional 70 miles to fly from London
with BA than from Brizzle with KL-fucking-M.

Luftwaffe, well I've used them on occasion but have not been impressed.
Their business offering is nothing like BAs but I suppose their economy
offering is comparable.

I suppose my main criticism of BA is that some of the planes are getting
a bit tatty and could do with a refurb.

Not so nice for their creditors though.

 

wrote in message

****.

[1] Given my experience with the Japanese; I deal with them on a regular
basis (weekly) and in the past have had some of my team based in Tokyo.
The Japanese are polite, charming and hard working; I like them.
However they seem to have the view that they are seperate from the rest
of the world. For example they will use phrases like "This is the
Global way, but in Japan we..." I think deep down that they view
themselves as seperate from the rest of the world possibly in a genetic
way. I would expect that the JAL economy class was built with the
Japanese physique in mind (which in any case makes sense since the
majority of the customers would be Japanese.)

 

It works, sometimes but there is always someone ot help me lift my case
onto the belt.

The same thing happened to me recently. TBH, I don't see much difference in
security.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, BGN

I have my own.

Have you ever actually flown with them? They are my airline of choice to
SA, because their in-flight service is (IME) excellent.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

I haven't flown with SA, but I do have the experience and letters of
complaint that I receive all the time relating to SA.

 

It's no worse than any of the others, or wasn't when I flew JAL to
Australia and back.

One thing I do like is the top deck of their 747's is also economy.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, BGN

I didn't think you had.

How odd. You must have customers with very high expectations.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - There are few things in life more sinister than a
public toilet with the lid closed.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha GTS1000

 

I've flown with Singapore Airlines - only economy but it was good.

Emirates are still the airline I rate highest for economy - great food,
service and decent legroom. Shame many of their flight connections at
Dubai are so poor.

I flew KLM to Tokyo via Amsterdam. Nearly missed the connection in AMS
due to the usual congestion at Heathrow. ISTR that the service in
economy was pretty damn basic especially so for such a long flight. The
flights were packed both ways which didn't particularly help either.

Only flown Luftwaffe once - to Berlin when the first Gulf War was on. It
was in Winter and the flight attendant took great delight in drawing our
attention to the inadequacies of British ground crew and their inability
to provide non frozen water for the aircraft.

"Ja, we zink we haf der flowing water in ze toiletten. Ha Ha." I think
that rated a 4 on the Corfield hilarity scale.

Still at least we didn't crash on take off with the cold temperatures.

 

Actually when I think about it I flew to Melbourne on Singapore in
economy once about 15 years ago. It was quite good; they gave me
sandwiches when I asked for them even though it wasn't a meal time
(which I thought was a big deal at the time and took a lot of nerve to
ask for)

I've never flown Emirates so can't comment.

Garuda / Air Indonesia are the worst airline I've flown on;
Melbourne-Syndey-Bali-Medan-Bangkok-?(somewhere in the middle-East)-LHR.
An utterly hateful flight.

Working with Germans it's my conclusion that there is a lot of
misunderstanding of the Brits. and a significant amount of suspicion but
I think this is due in part to the internal politics I suffer rather
than due to a larger social attitude. The Germans I deal with seem
genuinely bemused by our society and seem to revel when things go wrong
and deride our food/beer. Reminds me of my favourite German insult (at
least I heard it from a German): "Euer Land ist Scheisse. Euer Essen ist
Scheisse. Euer Bier ist Scheisse..."

 

Yes. I suppose I do.

I think it's mainly to do with the high price that SA charge for their
seats. If it was cheaper then they wouldn't mind it so much.

 

Champ scribbled on the back of a napkin:

I don't think I'm taller than you (5'11" as well) but I've got fairly
long legs for my size. Plus, I've got iffy knees - if I have to keep
them bent as you do when you're sitting they get very painful and tend
to lock up after a while. Which, incidentally, is one of the reasons I
don't "do" sports bike apart from the occasional ride on something
Italian and at least semi-exotic. Flying business usually means I've
got enough space to move my legs about so that doesn't happen.
Unfortunately most if not all flights this year are being paid out of
my own pocket so there isn't much business class in there...

I usually manage to avoid the boredom as I can catch up on my reading.
I just have to avoid getting my hand luggage weighed

 

Why do people not regard this as fraud? Or theft even?

 

My brother had this when he arrived in Oz:

"Sir, can you step over here please..."

"Can you explain why there are traces of explosives all over your clothing
and luggage?"

"Yes, I'm a firearms instructor."

"Ah..."