How not to land a chopper

Weird. It looks as though the pilot only had a vague idea of how to
fly, or was drunk.

 

Before I look at it, it's not a bloke on an RC45 following an NS500 is
it....?

Dave

 

That one on the history of the Britannic was well done.

 

People pay to fly on choppers? Blimey.
Don't tell champ that we get free food at the other end.

Although having to wear three layers of clothing and a survival suit in
the middle of last summer got to be a bit sweaty.

 

And broadband, don't forget the free broadband.

Especially if the flights delayed and you have to remove the immersion
suit to go out for a smoke.

Actually I haven't been offshore for a couple of years now and I
didn't bother doing my last refresher course. If my present employer
wants me to go then I'll have the full course again tvm.

 

Nah, this is the one where a young lad paid for his granddad to have a first
ever heli flight for his birthday. Either 80th, ot 100th, can't be sure, but
the result was the pilot (Russian) fucked up in an attempt t impress. Flying
down a tree lined road isn't "that" clever, as the tail boom soon found out.

The old blioke died the following day.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

A few years ago, I got delayed at Den Helder for 5 days because of fog.
I had to hang around the heliport for 12 hours each day "just in case".

Did mine last year at RISC in Rotterdam, swimming pool was taken, so we
had to go in the sea. Normally I wouldn't mind, but Rotterdam? Who knows
how much nasty stuff there is floating around? (Well, I have an idea).

Mined ewe, the pool is harder 'cos when they turn the lights out and turn
the wave machine on, you finally get to the life-raft, only to find out
that you're sat next to the bloke who ate as much free food as possible at
lunch-time and swimming around in a heaving pool hadn't been pleasant for
him. I didn't see him eat any carrots, but...

I've presently told my employer to **** off with the one day offshore
jobs; They don't seem to realise that Den Helder is 2hrs 30mins away from
me, check-in time is one hour, flight time about half hour. They book me
the earliest chopper on (7.00am), and the latest one off (varies up to
9.00pm), making the day at least 18 hours. Then they moan at me for coming
in an hour late the next day. Cunts, they won't do that again.

If I'm lucky, I get an earlier chopper back and can drive past Amsterdam,
Den Haag and Rotterdam in the rush hour.

 

I wouldn't fancy that very much. I like a nice heated pool with some
atmospheric background noise.

The first time I did the course I was with about 5 workmates and we
created havoc. The poor girl who was training us almost lost her voice
after shouting "stop breaking the circle" at the top of her voice what
seemed like 100 times in under an hour.

My last two trips were to the Gulf of Mexico and it's much more
relaxed. We sat drinking beer on the dock until the supply boat turned
up and then after a few bits of excitement we just scoffed free food
and watched films for about 5 hours.

Last time out I was dropped off (alone) at Fouchon docks at 11pm with
no taxi waiting. Local taxi companies initially refused to come to the
docks because they normally get robbed down there and in the end the
one driver that turned up showed me her gun and demanded the money
before I was allowed in the car. New Orleans seemed like paradise
after that.

I really can't be bothered with the hassle these days.

 

The problem with "survivable" incidents is that they often happen
where landing is a bit tricky.

 

That's the Hughes 269 then


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Ah, this one.

 

Yeah, that's the one. What a fucking tosser he is. I don't know how he
survived it, but apparently, he did.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

I would have said sometimes rather than often - I had one or two
'interesting' moments and happily (for me) didn't come to grief. Other
friends of mine weren't so lucky, and some of them didn't survive.