How many ... ?

Q. How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to serve tea and biscuits.

Q. How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to bind the powers of
darkness.

Q. How many Anglicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to argue that they prefer
an old one.

Q. How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to hold a deacons meeting
to see if it making them ecumenical.

Q. How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They use candles.

Q. How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. As many as you like because they'll all have their hands in the air.

Q. How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb, one to carry the bible and eight
to act as elders for the event.

Q. How many Brethren does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Change???

Q. How many American TV Evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to explain where to send
the cheques.

Q. How many Free Church of England members does it take to change a
light bulb?
A. Ten all holding hands in case their Apostolic line is broken.

Q. How many FIEC members does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One holding the bible while nine give out tracts and edited
sermons of Martyn Lloyd Jones.

Q. How many Anglo Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb, two to carry candles, one to swing
the smoke and six to check which saints day it happened to be when the
old one went out.

Q. How many Hyper Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to change the light bulb and nine to expound on the fact
that both the old one and the new one were predestined to be changed at
that time.

 

Similar but more sad...

Q. How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. It's a hardware problem.

 

Quite right too.

 

Well there's something I didn't expect to see on UKRM- a joke I can
print out and send to my mother.

 

Irish Catholic version:
How many Protestants does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they live in perpetual darkness

 

Having Methodists in the family, the version of this I knew was:
Q How many Methodists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Change?!?!

--
John (jsp)

SV 650
Black it is
And Naked

 

LOL

 

Methodists: like Masons, but without the saving grace of a bar.

--
ColonelTupperware,
spouting bollocks on Usenet since 1997
Usenet FAQ at
http://www.its.caltech.edu/its/services/internetapps/news/news2.shtml
UPCE FAQ at http://upce.org.uk/ UKRM FAQ at http://www.ukrm.net/faq/

 

They think the light bulb is on a different planet.

 

So what have you got against the Mormons?
--
O
1 Black, shortly to undergo extensive surgery.
1 Red, undergoing lightweight surgery. -----
1 Blue, for Power-Ranger baiting. | o |
Numbers ... | o |
Stuff ... | ooo |
Life ... -----

 

If you wait long enough you may finally get one that's actually funny
as well...

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
`\|/`
`

 

Paging Marc D., sounds like the "lady" that got you has been out
targeting other beemers.

 

Odd, I thought the same thing. Wasn't a VW polo by any chance was it?

If it's anything like my incident, she'll be charged (the coppers were
very happy that she'd even admitted liability at the scene, and had
a crop of witnesses as well), but CPS will drop all charges possibly
because "it's only a motorcyclist".

(I don't have to be paranoid, the fuckers really are out to get me)