How long can a man survive...

I'm genuinely surprised that you are apparently useless in the kitchen.
Given that you are mechanically competent I would have thought you'd be
able to assemble a recipe using the same skill set as you use to
assemble an engine or put a bike back together.

If I can cook a more than passable meal then you can too. I'd suggest
you experiment with Chinese cookery as most of that consists of some
simple preparation, get the wok hot, chuck stuff in in a pre-set order,
stir it round and then serve. Dead easy - prawns with spinach in oyster
sauce took 5 minutes to prepare and 5 minutes to cook last night and was
lovely. No recipe either - I just applied some basic principles I've
learnt from following other recipes or watching telly programmes. Char
Sui Pork is the next experiment.

I would suggest that you also get Elly to give you cookery lessons when
she returns from the break. I know from comments on here that she can
clearly turn out decent nosh.

 

The Anarchists Cookbook?

McKev

 

I can sympathize - I burn toast :|

McKev

 

I have this book and its fuckin BRILLIANT! Im a really shite cook and cant
even keep the recipe for a cup of tea in my head but this book is
a godsend!

McKev

 

I tried to find Josie Dew's recipe for porridge but can't find it on the
net. She was featured on the nation's favourite food programme when they
did "breakfast". Although it was all gloopy and had dried fruit and
honey in it it looked like ideal cycling food.

 

Nah, 1.5 days at Glentress and then up to Fort William for 3 days for
the World Cup round.

 

flash says...

Mine has injection.

 

When Moben asked me for something to represent what happens in my
kitchen, I emptied some charcoal briquettes[1] on the table and showed
them the scars on my arm...

[1] Chips, in a former life

 

I lived on a diet of mostly beans and pasta for a year, and I'm BANANA
BANANA ok.. <fx: wibble>[/QUOTE]

When I was at college I lived on Doll wonton noodles and toast for two
years.. the noodles were only about 10p a packet in those days,
bargain.

 

Paul Corfield scribbled:

I've just done a shop in Tescos.

Wandering round I'm starting to remember what I used to eat when living
by myself, which is no bad thing as I'm bloody bored with pasta/spag
bol (sauce out of a tin) & pizzas.

Anyone who doesn't like food from tins would have a coronary looking in
my cupboard right now

 

Tesco Finest is OK.
M&S is OK, Birdseye microwave steam meals are good.

Ampthill, 'cept they ain't built it yet, so CMK at a guess.

--
ColonelTupperware,
spouting bollocks on Usenet since 1997
Usenet FAQ at
http://www.its.caltech.edu/its/services/internetapps/news/news2.shtml
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Snowleopard says...

I tried to find Doll noodles the other day, no-one stocks them any
more. Sainsburys used to but then brought out their own poor imitation.

 

Snowleopard says...

<reconsiders Snowy's position in his heart>

 

Nope; hated cooking and I just didn't care about food. If I was
feeling exotic, I'd throw a can of sweetcorn in.

Mind you if I try and eat them now, at least with the powder 'sauce'
stirred in, I get a horrible migraine.

 

Colonel Tupperware says...

It's all irrelevant. I've been to Tesco and bought 5 ready meal
thingies. 79p each, but buy 5 for 3.50. Cuntybollocks here only managed
to find one that's not microwavebale though, and it's the biggest box
too. I've just had to re-arrange the freezer to take it cos I don't
know how the oven works.

Stew and dumplings was nice enough though, for simple food.

 

How have you missed the fact I'm a disaster in the kitchen?!?!?!

 

I'm really not sure I believe this. How you can't know how to work an
oven is beyond me. I think this is just a Lozzo wind up.

 

Hmm - that's that yellow stuff, isn't it?

<googles>

Yeah - what's it supposed to taste of? I recall being somewhat put
off, but I admit that if there's good and bad ones it was probably the
pikeyest version possible.

 

I'll do an emergency "food" parcel from Chinatown. I'm sure there will
be zillions of packets of noodles. I even found a Japanese supermarket
in Soho the other day that looked rather interesting - lots of "just add
water" or "just microwave" meals such as Japanese curries.

 

There's nothing wrong with stuff out of tins. It's what you do with it
that's the issue. I've come to the conclusion that I had a far better
diet when I was hard up as a student and *had* to cook stuff from
simple, cheap ingredients. Microwave meals etc may look nice on the
packet but they really do not do you any good - I'm living proof of
that.

Time to look for Floodlight to see if there are any inspirational
cookery evening classes from the Autumn term.