Hello, is it me you're looking for, duckie?

I've been watching this 100 hit singles thing on the TV, one of which was
that Lionel Ritchie horror - and then it occurred to me that it would be
terrific done in a really camp way...

 

platypus emerged from their own little world to say

Thankyou Larry Grayson, AICMF camp exit strategies.

 

I was thinking more David McAlmont.

 

I've been watching this 100 hit singles thing on the TV, one of which was

Who made it to no 1? I made it to No 3 then fell asleep.

 

Imagine, which left me wondering if that was the best we could do.

 

platypus said:

Joe Dolce at number two, closely followed by Little Jimmy Osmond and
Lena Zavaroni?

 

Not forgetting Wink Martindale.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Simes

And what exactly is wrong with St. Winifred's School Choir, you ****?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Wicked said:

They were lying little bitches. There's no-one quite like Grandma -
yes there is. Auvache.

 

platypus said:

My Boo.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Simes

Well, in some respects, I agree:

Aged - Check
Smells of wee - Check
Tendency to mumble incoherently - Check

But in others?

Rosy cheeks - X
Dispenser of sweeties - X
Fucks old men - ?

So, not *quite* like Grandma.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Wicked said:

He's always had his trousers on when I've seen him.

Not seen him outside his local junior school?

He's getting desperate.

Near enough - and he knits a lovely pully.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Simes

#Count your blessing, one by one...

No, he's keeping a low profile since the chinchilla incident.

True, true. But are the old men?

You should have said! Guilty. Take him down.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

"Are you somewhere feeling lonely...or is Lonely feeling you?"

 

In

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes did a version of Hello, but it's not exactly
camp. I have Statto to thank for that one.