Har Bumbug

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house,
Everyone felt shitty,
Even the mouse

Mum at the whorehouse
And dad smoking grass
I'd just settled down
For a nice piece of ass

When out on the lawn
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what awas the matter

Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a moment
It must be Saint Nick

He came down the chimney
Like bat out of hell
I knew in a moment
The bastard had fell

He filled all out stockings
With pringles & beer
And a big rubber dick
For my brother, the queer

He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart,
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney apart

He swore & he cursed
As he rode out of sight
"Piss on you all...
Have a hell of a night!"