Gyp's tips. No 5 in series of 14,111

If you buy yourself one of those blowtorch lighter thingies, don't play
with it in your pocket.

It's not big, it's not clever, but yes, it does smell of crackling.

 

Ouch!

<eyes fill with tears>

Would sir like his meat and two veg well done?

 

Ouch. Pocket bbq anyone?

 

I don't want that chipolata, thanks.

 

*Snort*

A DIAABTCOD number if ever I heard one. Number 28 is yours, sir. A short
acceptance speech is considered good manners.

 

You silly ****!!

I've just spent the last 20 minutes laughing fit to burst!!

 

It was somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the

Burnt knob?

--

Dave

GS 850 x2 / SE 6a
SbS#6 DIAABTCOD#16 APOSTLE#6 FUB#3
FUB KotL OSOS#12? UKRMMA#19 COSOC#10

 

He's not *that* bad.

 

Have you? Have you really?

 

I believe him. Seriously, think about it. Gyp sounds like he's
suggesting he burnt his prick and it smelt of roast pork.

Isn't that just the funniest thing, no?

 

Lies. You got caught having a crafty J Arthur, and came up with this
preposterous story to cover yourself.

"I'm just rubbing some salve on, dear, I burnt myself with my new lighter."

 

In message

(I have difficulty accepting this award. I've difficulty accepting it
because this, I feel, is not my most suitable injury. I feel that my
last incident (Gyp's Tips #8 - electrocuting myself immediately prior to
an interview by a BBC film crew) was if anything the pinnacle of my self
harm history; 240 volts, smoke, hair, blisters (eventually) and a film
crew has to count for something. However...)

it is with great delight that I accept this award. This is something I
have long been working towards and it is with great honour and delight
that I accept the nomination of the jury of my peers. I trust my
stupidity will shine as a beacon to others.

Well done sausage anyone?

 

It depends on your perspective

 

Yes.

 

Wow.

 

Gyp - Nerves of steel , heart of gold, knob of butter

D

 

You forgot "cotton wool balls".

 

<smirk>

D