Getting old

If that's for real, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

First time in San Francisco, I was on my own and I'd already fucked up by
leaving my driving licence at home so couldn't hire a car from the
regulars. I got sorted out by some dodgy looking geezer who told me that
if I was stopped by the police, I should tell them that the hire company
had my licence.

The next morning in the motel I convinced myself that they were some dodgy
outfit that was going to steal their own car, and make me pay for it,
knowing I wouldn't go to the cops.

2 days later I parked the car in some mall car park near Palo Alto. Came
out an hour later and it wasn't there. Pretty much shat myself. I walked
back into the mall after an hour of wandering aimlessly around, to find
out that there were N, S, E and W car parks.

 

Thirded. Not *just* Antoine, mind you.

 

That's right: every **** apart from The Clique.

 

Not surprising these days when every jellymould looks the same to his
rheumy old eyes.

Fwiw, I came out of a building supplies office and hopped into my van.
Wasn't mine though. While I'd been in, an identical Tranny had been
parked right next to mine.

 

Ben Blaney says...

My daughter loves her leased Accord Type-S.

 

Does she? eh?
jpg?

--
ColonelTupperware,
spouting bollocks on Usenet since 1997
Usenet FAQ at
http://www.its.caltech.edu/its/services/internetapps/news/news2.shtml
UPCE FAQ at http://upce.org.uk/ UKRM FAQ at http://www.ukrm.net/faq/

 

Yes. Worse still was coming back from a press trip in the mid-to-late
1980s, and our host was on the same plane.

We landed at Heathrow in the dark, and as we taxied in he said he'd
forgotten where he'd parked his car. And asked if I could help him look
for it.

"What sort of car is it?" I asked.

"A blue Sierra."

"Well, that fucking narrows it down a bit."

One of the stewards was sitting near us on a jump seat, heard this, and
started pissing himself laughing.

Not only had the twerp forgotten where he'd parked it, but he didn't
know the registration number. Company pool car or something. But it had
a recognisable sticker in the rear window. Amazingly, we actually found
it, after 15 minutes driving round in the dark.

 

My Dad managed that once, too.

 

Several years since, a bloke at work had a call from his missus.

She'd gone out shopping, and when she returned to the carpark, there
was no sign off the car.

Called hubby, then called plod, who took details, and very kindly
took her home.

Where they spotted the car, sat on the drive.

She'd gone shopping on the bus.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..75409../..18748.../..3196./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 18 Pts: 305 Miles: 1193

 

When I used to work for General Accident many moons ago, a similar
thing happened to our branch manager - a very formal, ex-airforce type
by the name of Mr Brown (I never did know his christian name).

He popped into town in the car one lunchtime to collect something and,
after wandering around Bedford town centre for a while, found himself
close to the office and cut short his lunchtime perambulations. After
spending an enjoyable afternoon in his ivory tower, he made his way to
the car park beneath the offices only to find that his white Sierra
wasn't in the coveted 'Branch Manager's' space. Plod were duly
summoned, statements made and his loving wife came out to pick him up.

Later that evening, after a pleasant meal, a glass of wine and some
delightful televisual treats, he was suddenly struck by the
realisation that he had driven into town at lunchtime and parked his
car in the car park reserved for patrons of Gibbs & Dandy's, Bedford's
foremost hardware/DIY emporium. His ever faithful lady wife (she of
the alarming curtain material-like dresses at company functions) took
him post haste to said car park wherein resided the white Sierra
behind 6' high metal gates.

Needless to say, he was a few minutes late for work the next day
having had to recover the 'stolen' car from Gibbs and Dandy's car park
and explain to the constabules at Greyfriars police station what had
transpired.

It was positively delightful to see how quickly the 'LOST, white Ford
Sierra' posters, complete with a little caricature appeared all over
the branch. he was very reluctant to go striding about his empire for
a while after that.

Oh happy days.

--
Elly - a tired Pixie
ZX9R-E1 - <Giggles>
Spike - FZ400 - It's dead Jim!
MRO#32 ibW#25 BoTAFOT#46 BoTAFOF #46 GP#1 UKRMRM#00 TWA#3
http://www.garagepixies.co.uk
elly at garagepixies dot co dot uk

 

Dave scribbled:

<g>

 

Antoine scribbled:

Nope, I drive a 39 yr old mans car, mine.

Never driven an accord. Like Preludes though, and I'd like an S2000.

 

Dr Ivan D. Reid scribbled:

I did it using morse code... digital system innit?

 

[/QUOTE]

ISTR a story from 4 or 5 years ago about a bloke on his annual
holidays in some seaside resort who reported his car stolen from the
main street. The next year he was on his hols again (same place every
year) wandering around the side-streets when he found his car parked there!
Then he remembered that on the day in question the main drag was too crowded
so he'd parked a few blocks away...

--
Ivan Reid, Electronic & Computer Engineering, ___ CMS Collaboration,
Brunel University. Room 40-1-B12, CERN
GSX600F, RG250WD. "You Porsche. Me pass!" DoD #484 JKLO# 003, 005
WP7# 3000 LC Unit #2368 (tinlc) UKMC#00009 BOTAFOT#16 UKRMMA#7 (Hon)
KotPT -- "for stupidity above and beyond the call of duty".

 

A mate of mine borrowed his B-I-L's car (a blue Nissan saloon, I
believe) to go into town to do some shopping. On his return to the car
park he used the remote to get into the car started the engine and
before pulling away, he decided to open the sun roof, when this
hysterical woman started banging on the drivers window and screaming at
him.

At this point he remembered his B-I-L's car did not have a sun roof.

No matter how he tried to explain and even showed the woman his B-I-L's
car two cars down, which he open etc., she still carried on screaming at
him, so he drove off. Half a mile away three police cars pulled him over
and detained him for an hour before agreeing with him it was his B-I-L's
car, he was driving it with his permission, it was all a mistake and
that Nissan car security sucks.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Andy Bonwick

When I took my driving test, it was in a small red Nissan. I went into
the test centre, and emerged a few minutes later with the examiner. To
find two identical red Nissans parked next to each other in the car
park. Both wearing "L" plates.

I guessed "left" and the key worked, so I assume I took my test in the
correct car.

I passed, BTW.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

It's quite common over here (Qatar) where it's common - the norm,
actually - for people to leave their cars running while they go into a
shop or something. And almost everyone drives either a Toyota
Landcruiser or a Nissan Maxima. I've lost count of the number of
times I've got in "my" car, and been about to drive away before
thinking "this is not my car".

 

I failed mine in a Triumph Herald.

The look of dismay on the examiner's face as I ushered him towards my
pride and joy didn't put me off. Trying to ram an oncoming car did set
the tone for the rest of the test mind.