Get Stuffed!!!

Get stuffed... it's Turkey day... we are here to help one another understand
one another... what ever it is...

Larry L
94 RC45 #2
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TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING, BUT I JUST COULDN'T SLEEP
I TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS, I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED - THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT

TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.

I GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
'TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.

I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES....
HAPPY EATING TO ALL PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.

MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY, MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES 'N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP,
MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS.

HAVE A WONDERFUL THANKSGIVING!

 

That is so funny.....roflmao....Wayne

 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!!!! 2004

Thanksgiving is that very special holiday when we take a
break from our hectic everyday lives to spend quality time
with our loved ones, rediscovering all the reasons why we
don't actually live with them.
But Thanksgiving is also a spiritual time of quiet
reflection -- a time when we pause to remember, as
generations have remembered before us, that an improperly
cooked turkey is -- in the words of the U.S. Department of
Agriculture -- ``a ticking Meat Bomb of Death.''
Yes, it is a tragic but statistical fact that every
Thanksgiving, undercooked turkeys claim the lives of an
estimated 53 billion Americans. Sometimes the cause is
deadly bacteria; sometimes -- in cases of extreme
undercooking -- the turkey actually springs up from the
carving platter and pecks the would-be carver to death. The
only way to be sure you've killed all the bacteria in your
turkey is to cook it until a meat thermometer inserted into
the breast melts, indicating that the turkey has attained
the same internal temperature as the sun. ''Basically,''
advises the Surgeon General, ''you want to be serving your
family a 16-pound charcoal briquette.'' Even then you should
keep a flamethrower handy.
Speaking of which: The ''hot'' new Thanksgiving
culinary trend is to cook turkeys in big deep-fat fryers,
which are hugely popular because they give guys an excuse to
spend Thanksgiving outside drinking beer and messing around
with a device that could potentially destroy an entire
neighborhood. Now that guys have decided to become seriously
involved in Thanksgiving food preparation, it's only a
matter of time before they come up with a recipe for mashed
potatoes that involves a grenade launcher.
Of course, not everybody is comfortable with the idea of
eating turkeys, which are, let's face it, living organisms,
like dogs, or celery. You may wonder: Is there a more
humanitarian option that you can serve for Thanksgiving
dinner? There certainly is: It's tofu, a semi-foodlike
substance secreted by soybeans as a defense mechanism. Tofu
can be used as a high-protein meat substitute, as well as a
denture adhesive or tile grout. In its natural state, tofu
is tasteless and odorless, but if you form it into a
turkey-shaped lump, season it well, add gravy and bake it
for two hours in a shallow pan at 350 degrees, you can also
use it for minor driveway repairs.

Of course no Thanksgiving dinner is complete without the
pumpkin pie. Here's an easy recipe for this delicious
traditional dessert:

1. Using a dangerous knife, cut the top off a large
pumpkin.

2. Inside you will find a mess of stringy, stanky, slimy
pumpkin innards. Scoop these out and discard them.

3. Now discard the rest of the pumpkin, because the simple
truth obvious to anybody with half a brain, is that NO PART
of the pumpkin looks, smells or tastes ANYTHING like
so-called ''pumpkin'' pie. This is why nobody
actually makes ''pumpkin'' pie; everybody buys it at the
supermarket.
But enough about food. Thanksgiving is not merely a time of
eating until we are big fat bloated carbohydrate balloons
lying motionless on the sofa watching the Detroit Lions
while actual gravy oozes from our pores. Thanksgiving is
also a time of giving thanks -- as the Pilgrims did so many
centuries ago -- for
the fact that the malls are open on Friday. Otherwise we'd
have to spend another day cooped up with our loved ones,
not to mention toxic levels of leftovers, and the number of
domestic drumstick assaults would be even higher than it is.

But in all seriousness, I want to wish you a happy
Thanksgiving. I personally am very thankful that I have
readers like you who have terrific senses of humor and thus
recognize that I am just ''kidding around,'' especially if
you are in the turkey, deep-fat fryer, tofu or pumpkin-pie
industries. Also, even though

I have ''poked some fun'' at Mr. Dan Rather, I sincerely
believe he is a great
journalist and a credit to his home planet.

In closing, let's have a big group hug and join together in
singing
this traditional Thanksgiving song that we vaguely remember
from
childhood: "Over the river and through the woods, to
grandmother's
house we go!" The horse is reluctant, and we can relate,
because
grandmother's house has that weird smell.


--

Nefarious Necroloigist 42nd Degree
Some people ride, some just like to show off their butt
jewelry once in a while.
Dum vivimus, vivamus
<3 )3~~ <3 )3~~ <3 )3~ <3 )3~

 

And the same to you!

 

For me it would preferably be a day that I DON'T have to deal with my
family.. But no such luck.

 

jour heureux de dinde
día feliz del pavo
glücklicher Truthahntag

--
Odinn

'03 FLHTI ........... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/ElectraGlide
'97 VN1500D ......... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/VulcanClassic
Atlanta Biker Net ... http://www.atlantabiker.net
Vulcan Riders Assoc . http://www.vulcanriders.org

rot13 to reply

 

<snip>

Thank you, Dave Barry!

 

Sorry to hear that. Today is the day I'll spend with many of my
extended family and I'm glad to do so. I'm thankful my situation is a
good one and hope yours improves.

 

Eat, drink, and be merry. Be thankfull for all your blessings.

....and if you are going to indulge in the spirits of the day, take a cab
home!

Happy Thanksgiveing, all.

nb

 

Get stuffed buddy! ;^) It wasn't attributed when I got
it, so THERE! NYAH! NYAH! Now if you will excuse me I've a
turkey to stuff(still plotting the stuffing as I type) Some
sourdough, veggies, homemade Pumpkin pie(oh and Cheesecake
Pumpkin pie also) I'll wait till lunch to put it in the
oven...evening meal.
It sucks that the nearest family member I know is over
1,200 mi away. The furthest known member is in Ma...the wife
has relations in R.O.K. but being adopted has no clue as to
who they are, doesn't care much either.

--

Nefarious Necroloigist 42nd Degree
Some people ride, some just like to show off their butt
jewelry once in a while.
Dum vivimus, vivamus
<3 )3~~ <3 )3~~ <3 )3~ <3 )3~

 

Didn't Richard Pryor get burned in a bad explosion when he put punkin
pie in his turkey?

 

Hardly. He was badly burned when his crack pipe exploded.

nb

 

He was cooking crack when he got burned.

 

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/10230
851.htm?1c

I can recognize his style usually. I had a chance to meet him at a
book signing here, he's as funny in person as he is as a writer.

 

OK, so I lied for the sake of clarity. Good grief.

 

Not much of a chance of that happening, but thanks for the kind thoughts.

I put up with them for about an hour today, and now I'm happily away
from the whole bunch. With luck I won't have to repeat it on Christmas.

Yes, I'm the r.m grinch.

 

SNIP

Indeed, one of the truly funny people in the world.

--

Nefarious Necroloigist 42nd Degree
Some people ride, some just like to show off their butt
jewelry once in a while.
Dum vivimus, vivamus
<3 )3~~ <3 )3~~ <3 )3~ <3 )3~

 

Too bad he quit writing his weekly column...

 

He still writes it.