French good news / bad news

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I'd better hope they don't send the tickets over for my last batch of
offences when we were over a couple of weeks ago.

The sad fact is that once they start doing cross Channel raids on my
bank account I'll simply stop going to France and catch the ferry into
Belgium instead.

 

It was pretty much my motivation for taking Burnt's northern route to
Switzerland last year. OK they still caught me in the brief Frog setion and
it cost EU50 but there were many places it would have been x30. So, in
short, go right ahead and **** up a section of your tourist industry
whydontya.

 

I was driving through Tooting one day last year and got stuck in a queue
as the police closed the road to let a carnival parade of some kind go
through. Sensing I was going to be sitting there for a while, I put the
handbrake on, switched off the engine and sat waiting for the road to
reopen.

While there, I thought I might as well punch my destination into Google
Maps to get some directions. Cue a PCSO spotting me with my phone in my
hand.

"You can't use your phone in the car", she says.

I look down at the handbrake, the lack of illumination on the dash and
back at the phone. "I'm parked. You've closed the road. The engine's
off!"

"Doesn't matter. That'd be three points." She walks off with the parade.

I go to put my phone somewhere useful so I can hear the directions and
another PCSO appears. "You can't use your phone in the car", she says. I
do an exaggerated Franco-Jewish shrug thinking this is getting silly,
and silently mouth "for ****'s sake." Cue the sudden appearance of a
proper dibble who starts to read me the riot act about using my phone in
the car, having a bad attitude and then threatens me with a nicking
before fucking of to annoy someone else.

Parade over, the road reopens and I start the car and continue my
journey, reminded once again about what a bunch of jobsworth cunts the
police are.

 

This *is* the Met we're talking about.
What is the law on this exactly anyway?

 

At a guess, if you're 'in control of the car on a public highway',
you're stuffed. Same as with boozing.

 

That was what got me. I was in a stationary car with the handbrake on
and engine of, on a road *they'd closed*.

Technically guilty, perhaps, but only a **** would push the point. As
proved by the three uniformed cunts who did.

 

I've often ridden without a GB sticker in France, never had a problem.

 

Definitely. I seem to remember seeing the quite counter-intuitive
advice on 28 Days Later or some such site, that if you want to break
in and explore any industrial site without being noticed, it's a good
idea to wear hi-vis.

I was amused to see the ticket sellers at the BMF wearing them at the
weekend, though. I guess that's just because some people think it
makes you look official.

David

 

They have only been of use to me when outside the EU. Coming back into
Austria from Slovenia, before they were in the EU, meant we were waved
straight through once the plod spotted the GB sticker on my mate's bike in
front of me.

Gyp is off to Italy who DGAF, but he may go via CH. I'd want a GB sticker
just in case those charmless fuckers stopped me.

 

Or... maybe don't go so fast ?

Strange how people get uptight about foreigners not having to pay fines
when caught speeding here, but seem to think it a pisser if we have to
pay fines elsewhere ?

 

I've just rummaged through my documents to check the expiry date of the
bike MOT and found 3x Sea France GB stickers[1] from the days when they
sent written confirmations. You're welcome to one of them as 2 spares will
surely be enough.

[1] letters are quite big, measuring 80mm wide by 83mm tall if you chop off
the SF logo. Fine if you have a topbox/panniers but won't fit on a plate
easily.

 

that's because they have more serious matters to bust you for...

 

You do realise people will now be looking at all their French run pics to
see if they can spot you with one on, don't u ?

 

Sort of, yes.

Ok, maybe I should replace "people" with "newspapers".

 

Well, if he had one, it would be stuck where the number plate usually goes.

 

I've got a small GB badge permanently displayed on the number plate
light housing. Glad to see the housing is doing something useful,
because the bulb in there blew three weeks after the bike was bought
new, 2 and a bit years ago and I cba to replace it.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Inter-Continental Hyperbolistic Missile , CBR600F-W racebike
in the making, TS250C, RD400F (somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

I'll just order more from the Wine Society.

 

(The Older Gentleman) wrote in

I still order from them but in the £5-7 plonk category M&S are better
value, especially when you order the Xmas overstocks at a discount. In
particular, the mixed case of the WS private label[1] stuff underwhelmed me
for the price.

[1] "The Society's" not the Exhibition stuff

 

I'm actively trying to be one of those foreigners. At the moment my
cousin is looking into how I can register my bike in Malta without
having to actually take the bike there. He thinks there is a way I can
do it and is making more enquiries. It helps that I already have a
Maltese licence and can speak enough spic lingo to act dumb when
questioned in English.

--
Lozzo
Versys 650 Inter-Continental Hyperbolistic Missile , CBR600F-W racebike
in the making, TS250C, RD400F (somewhere)
BMW E46 318iSE (it's a car, not one of those 2-wheeled pieces of shite
they churn out)

 

Lozzo wibbled forthrightly:

I've covered up the French "F" and the Euro stars on my plate with a
Union Jack. I've not been stopped for it so far.

At any rate, I've been told that it's not a legal requirement, not that
IGAF.