For WUN

(With apologies to Meatloaf)

The Nigel is screaming and the Eaton is howling, way down in Holwell
tonight.

There's a Z on its stand with its tank on the shelf and the cams shining
oh so bright

There's spanners on the floor and feelers in the head, and a bloody
useless magnet-onna-stick

Oh, and down in the tunnel where the camchain is rising, I swear I saw a
valve shim, stuck in a crevice, it was saying to him "God, what a
dick...."

 

*excellent*! (although having been there myself, the humour may be lost on
the unfortunate Mr. Eaton atm).

Jb

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, The Older

<G> ****.

This List is getting ever so long...

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

On Mon, 6 Jun 2005 07:41:01 +0100,

Oh camshims are the only thing in this old barge
that're round and flat and thin
and wherever you block and whatever you wedge
they're always gonna find a way in

But you gotta get it out, gotta take it out now
before the final valve is done
so you gotta make the most of your one sump together
when it's open you know
you'll both be so undone

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
`\|/`
`

 

He's gonna hit the Blinger with a battering ram
And an angle grinder wielded right
Plus a bloody big hammer, and a grab-onna-stick and a little fibre
optic light
It's never gonna roll till he delves into that hole
And pulls the little fucker out
If he hits the starter now, there'll be a bloody big "Ka-pow!"
And he'll never have to worry, no he'll never have to worry,
About the tappets being five thou over-tight....

 

Like a shim outa Hell it'll be gone when the morning comes
When the engine turns over
That shim out of Hell will be gone, gone, gone

Like a shim outa Hell it'll be gone when the morning comes
When the stripdown's done
And the shim's fished out
And the crankshaft shining through
And like a shimmer before the camchain tunnel
I'll come shimming on back to you

 

<snip>

Would all artistes please gather on the stage for a curtain call? Many
thanks.

 

On Mon, 06 Jun 2005 13:24:34 +0100, Grimly Curmudgeon

<snip>

And he knows that he's blinged if it never gets out
And maybe he's blinged if it do
But with any other heap he'd have let it fall apart
And now he'd prob'ly be reaching for glue

If he gotta be blinged you know he wanna be blinged
Searching for the shim he knew
If he gotta be blinged you know he wanna be blinged
Gotta be blinged you know heanna be blinged
If he gotta be blinged you know he wanna be blinged

Searching for the shim
Searching for the shim
Searching for the shim
Searching for the shim he knew

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
`\|/`
`

 

It was a hot summer night and the crank was turning
There was a engine oil all over your hand
When you lifted off the cam you saw the sprocket turning
Then the bastard shim was
Falling through your trembling hands

You were squinting your eyes with your maglite shining
It would turn the engine's contents to paste
It was lying all hidden in the crankcase lining
By the light of the torch
You know there's not another moment
Not another moment
Not another moment to waste

The engine's so heavy that your knees grow weak
It weighs in at three hundred pound'
You're straining your back but no matter what you do
You just can't seem to get it off the ground

And then you dropped the shim right into your sump
Oh it must have been while you were making tea
You dropped the shim right into your sump
And you swear it's true
You were gonna get someone to do it.
And then you dropped the shim right into your sump
Oh it must have been while you were making tea
You dropped the shim right into your sump
And you swear it's true
You were gonna get someone to do it.

Now your body is shaking like a cat on a hotplate
And you guess that you're beginning to fizz
Oooh, you're finally alone and you can do what you want to
The night is young
And you still don't know where
Still don't know where
Still don't know where it is.




--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..75805../..18781.../..3196./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 24 Pts: 400 Miles: 1589

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Salad Dodger

<Genuine LOL>

Well, it's nice to know that I'm providing some amusement for the
amateur comedians.

The "Ballad of WUN's shim" is now complete. OK?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

I doff my cap to you sir.

You am da man.
--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2
`\|/`
`

 

<snip>

Excellent.

 

<Tom mode>

Don't You Believe Him

</tm>

 

Pah. Pay no attention to that grump behind the curtain.

 

Looking at it in the cold light of day... not great.

'Es no bad, inne.

 

I dunno. Nobody did the obvious:

#Shim shimmeny, shim shimmeny, shim shim sheree,
#A shim is as fucky as fucky can be
#Shim shimmeny, shim shimmeny, shim shim sheroo,
#Bad luck will rub off when it drops down - and Nooo!

 

Or: <Charles Aznavour>[1]

Shim may be in a place I can't quite get
Not with a sticky mag-a-net
Maybe dismantling is the price I have to pay
Shim may be the pingfukkit that pings
May be the end of that which blings
May be under many different things
Within the sump of a big K

Shim may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell
Shim may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
Shim may not be where she may seems
Inside her shell....

Shim, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose place can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they fall
Shim maybe the love that cannot hope to live
May come to me from oil can and a sieve
That I use to finds things small

Shim maybe the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I care for through the rough and ready years

Me, I'll take the laughter and the tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where shim goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
Shim....Shim
Oh, shim....



[1] spellchecker suggests "unsavoury"
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..75805../..18781.../..3196./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 24 Pts: 400 Miles: 1589

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Salad Dodger

(Snip)

ROTFLMAO.

<stamps feet, whistles>

You utter, utter, *utter* ****.

I'm almost glad I dropped the fucking thing now.


--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets
and Ducati Race Engineer.

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

Probably needs replacing now, that shim. I mean, look at the mileage
that's been put on it over the last couple of days.

 

National Treasure.