FOAK: Wine

Jim · Jun 17, 2010

# I want a doctor
# To take your picture
Click to expand...

http://www.ufunk.net/en/humour/eizo-pin-up-calendar-2010-le-nu-plus-quintegral/

Cab · Jun 17, 2010

TD wibbled forthrightly:

Unlike most of you, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink the odd bit here
and there but I wouldn't know a single malt if you hit me over the
head with the bottle.

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I
don't look like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my
Chardonnay from my Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference between
red and white[1].

Telling me to go out and buy Wine for Dummies is not an option.

[1] Apart from they both get you toasted - ah, that's not a
difference, my bad.
Click to expand...

I use a cheat sheet for French wines:

http://www.rosbif.org/otherphotos/index.php?gallery=Wines&lang=en

SIRPip · Jun 17, 2010

darsy said:

On Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:52:43 +0000 (UTC), "SIRPip"

you don't reckon you could just fire it out?
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Might bring tears to all three eyes, I reckon.

SIRPip · Jun 17, 2010

darsy said:

darsy said:

I was thinking Sobranie Cocktails - it's the cigarette the Escrote
Cabrio was invented for.
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I considered them, but thought they'd be a bit gurlie.
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Click to expand...

wessie · Jun 17, 2010

Castello della Salla Chardonnay 1999 - cheap as chips and very tasty.
Click to expand...

Italian Chardonnay. Not seen that for a while. Where do you source it from?
A google search does not turn up anything.

I've just looked on Laithwaite's site - they used to a really good, oaked
Italian chardonnay but alas no more. Out of fashion as eiron says, I
suppose.

Paul - xxx · Jun 17, 2010

TD said:

TD said:

Unlike most of you, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink the odd bit here
and there but I wouldn't know a single malt if you hit me over the
head with the bottle.

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I
don't look like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my
Chardonnay from my Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference
Click to expand...

between >> red and white[1].

Just tell her ... If she knows her stuff a bluff won't work, but
honesty might get you much further than first base ..
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What are you, some kind of poof?
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I'm in touch with my feminine side this week.

wessie · Jun 17, 2010

that's the one - it always has the same yellow foil top, but they seem
to almost randomly change the lable.
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funny old world, that of the wine snob v marketeer

always amuses me when someone is adamant that they won't drink a generic
grape variety yet happily slurp a glass of the same from a bottle with just
a geographic identity.

Owen · Jun 17, 2010

Sauvignon Blanc? Jesus, I'd rather suck on my own socks.
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Youve obviously never had a decent Sauvingon bland then...

Owen · Jun 17, 2010

Unlike most of you, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink the odd bit here and there
but I wouldn't know a single malt if you hit me over the head with the bottle.

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I don't look
like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my Chardonnay from my
Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference between red and white[1].
Click to expand...

as others have said, if you don't know, don't try and fake it. Just
ask her what she fancies (obviously she's not a woman of taste).

If she wants white, I'd suggest something neutral/dry-ish like a
Chardonnay/Viognier blend[1].

If she wants red, I'd suggest a Rioja or - if you're hoping to get her
cunted, a nice hefty 14%/vol Shiraz.

Or just don't **** around and buy whatever's cheapest and sprinkle
some ground-up Rohypnol into it (not yours, dumbass).

[1] Darsy's interesting wine fact: if a woman drinks sufficient white
wine, her piss will later on taste of (albeit warm) white wine.
Click to expand...

Please dont fell under any obligation, drinking her piss is
optional...

darsy · Jun 17, 2010

Italian Chardonnay. Not seen that for a while. Where do you source it from?
A google search does not turn up anything.
Click to expand...

Waitrose.

darsy · Jun 17, 2010

[1] Darsy's interesting wine fact: if a woman drinks sufficient white
wine, her piss will later on taste of (albeit warm) white wine.
Click to expand...

Please dont fell under any obligation, drinking her piss is
optional...
Click to expand...

optional?

it's a pleasure.

The Older Gentleman · Jun 17, 2010

http://www.ufunk.net/en/humour/eizo-pin-up-calendar-2010-le-nu-plus-quin
tegral/

"You don't have permission to access
/en/humour/eizo-pin-up-calendar-2010-le-nu-plus-quintegral/ on this
server."

Lucky escape?

Domenec · Jun 17, 2010

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I don'tlook
Click to expand...

A wine for the RR racing types. Or even more than that.

http://www.grow-tdc.com/arxius/roqueta_1.jpg

Derek Turner · Jun 17, 2010

On Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:13:41 +0000, TD wrote

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I don't
look like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my Chardonnay
from my Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference between red and
white[1].
Click to expand...

If the weather on the mainland is as nice as that here, may I suggest a
ProvenÃ§al rose? Fruity, dry and 13% so ought to get her pissed enough to
give you a blow-job.

wessie · Jun 17, 2010

Waitrose.
Click to expand...

<checks WWD>

None on there.

We have a Waitrose store about 2 miles away but it's on a side of town I
rarely visit, south of the river. Shitty little place with not a huge range
of stock - formerly a Safeway and hardly an improvement.

Paul Corfield · Jun 17, 2010

BTW, in case you're ever in the Borough High Street/London Bridge
area, and fancy Meze, the place I mentioned is this:

http://www.hibarestaurant.co.uk/home

very, very good value for money for pretty good food.
Click to expand...

Hmm looks pretty decent and as you say the prices are very good.

Beav · Jun 17, 2010

ginge said:

TD said:

Unlike most of you, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink the odd bit here and
there
but I wouldn't know a single malt if you hit me over the head with the
bottle.

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I don't
look
like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my Chardonnay from
my
Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference between red and white[1].
Click to expand...

If you want to impress her, order liebfraumilch.
Click to expand...

You're just trying to cause trouble, aren't you?

It's a fine hock, he wants. None of that cheap leibfraumilch nonsense.
Click to expand...

I reckon "plonking" a bottle of Thunderbird or White Lightning on the table
would show her he means business.

Catman · Jun 17, 2010

Hog said:

Vass said:

TD said:

Unlike most of you, I'm not an alcoholic. I drink the odd bit here
and there
but I wouldn't know a single malt if you hit me over the head with
the bottle.

Tonight's hot date wants to go to a wine bar. Any tips so that I
don't look
like too much of a tit? I don't know my Chablis from my Chardonnay
from my
Cava, FFS I don't even know the difference between red and white[1].

Telling me to go out and buy Wine for Dummies is not an option.

[1] Apart from they both get you toasted - ah, that's not a
difference, my bad.
Click to expand...

if she takes it up the wrong'un, Blue Nun
of not, Chablis
simples
Click to expand...

IMHO only a Chablis Grand Cru is worth drinking. At the lower end something
else will have much more character.
Click to expand...

I can lay my hands on some pretty reasonable petit cru from here

--
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Triumph Sprint ST 1050: It's blue, see.
www.cuore-sportivo.co.uk

Snowleopard · Jun 17, 2010

If she wants white, I'd suggest something neutral/dry-ish like a
Chardonnay/Viognier blend[1].
Click to expand...

I was going to suggest this - had a nice one from Villa Maria last
week.

[1] Darsy's interesting wine fact: if a woman drinks sufficient white
wine, her piss will later on taste of (albeit warm) white wine.
Click to expand...

Mind boggling.

Snowleopard · Jun 17, 2010

On Thu said:

it's a little intense.

I fucking love it.
Click to expand...

I love Shiraz and Merlot... if someone was wandering into their local
Waitrose, what would you suggest they gravitate towards?

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