FOAK: What shall we do on our day off?

The MiL is over from Ireland for a week and it has been suggested she
looks after the kids and Heather and I have a rare day out together on
Saturday 20th including the night.

Trouble is we can't think of or agree on what to do.

I favour spending the day on a drink and drug fueled binge in a series
of seedy dens whereas Heather favours the 'arts' and a nice meal.

Suggestions please.

 

Lastminute an oppulent hotel in the west end and you can probably do
both......

 

1) Go to London and have a tour of The Science Museum, Natural History
Museum (both free) and make a point of booking a couple of seats at
the BFI Imax Cinema as "Magnificent Desolation: Walking on the Moon
3D" is showing and there are also a number of showings of "Deep Sea
3D" on. Pepper the rest of the day with cream tea and then head home.
There's a small Imax cinema in The Science Museum too.

2) Go to a theme park like Thorpe Park, Chessington, Alton Towers for
the day.

3) Go shopping for a new selection of sex toys and book a hotel room
for the day to do it 'somewhere different.'

4) Go paintballing/Off roading in 4x4s.

5) Book a return flight to Amsterdam, out in the morning, back in the
early evening to have tea and bickies.

 

I'd vote for a combination of 3 and 2 or 3 and 4

Go shopping for a new selection of sex toys and then go to Alton Towers
to break them in on Nemesis etc

 

Fly out to somewhere suitably close to be able to do it all in a
day/overnight.
Say.....Dublin or Bruges, etc etc....5 star Hotel, plenty of drinks, tour of
the "sights/sites" take in a show and collapse back at the Hotel onto the
bed and present her with a Bouquet and Champagne just to say you love
her.....


Alternatively............Take a trip to Butlins and persecute someone else's
kids and start a fight with the parents about them being pikeys..

 

Well you know who the person with class is in your household.

I'd book a First Class return on Eurostar to Paris, stay in a top flight
hotel [1] and enjoy the spring weather. You can eat in fine style and
the Louvre / Musee D'Orsay are within staggering distance on Sunday.
You'll be able to have alcohol and drugs on tap at the hotel if they are
absolutely essential performance aids ;-)

[1] there's an outrageous one on the Place de la Concord.
http://www.crillon.com/crillon.html

 

Brilliant.

Now what can Heather do?

 

**** that!

 

Paul, you're the best poof on UKRM. x

 

This has merit.

 

That'll sort your ironing mate.

 

You've forgotten about the broken finger haven't you.

 

<thinks>

When the ironing's done you could **** her!

 

Don't forget that you should present her with a single red rose after
every meal (NOT MORE THAN ONE ROSE) or if the administration is
difficult source just two red or two white roses (must match) and
present one at the beginning of the day (at breakfast or just before
you leave) and one at the end of the day (after you've arrived home.)
This will demonstrate to her female mind that you are willing to be
consistent by giving the same quality of gift both at the start and
end of the day no matter what happens in the middle.

If you are able to, I suggest a trip to Thorntons or somewhere similar
to purchase just two identical chocolates and have them boxed up.
After dinner she has one and you have the other. This demonstrates to
her female mind that you consider her an equal.

+ve points: Cheap
-ve points: None

 

Combine the two, go to Amsterdam

 

To make the trip to gé Paris a bit more memorable an 80mph alcohol and
drug fuelled scream through the Pont de l'Alma road tunnel is a must.

 

....and yours would itch.

 

I would *so* love to know if she reads this froup..... <snerk>

Ali

 

That's the best euphemism I've ever heard.

 

Hm. So far, as a girlie, the two best ideas I've read in this thread have
been from gay men. This definitely reinforces my long held belief.

Ali