Eep!

[having now seen Fio's posted piccy of said beastie]

Years ago when I was a lad still living at home with the folks, my bedroom
was, as is the case of many a teenage boy, a living hell-hole.

Magazines strewn everywhere, bits of computer, books, posters, all sorts
of nefarious crap.

Anyhoo, one night as I lay on my bed with a good book, I heard something;
very, very subtle, but definitely something. I stopped reading, held my
breath for a moment and strained to pinpoint the noise. Nothing.

I resumed breathing and continued to read. Then, there it was again;
pitter-pitter-pitter-pitter silence pitter-pitter silence
pitter-pitter-pitter-pitter.

I carefully looked over the edge of the bed and scanned the carnage of the
bedroom floor. And there it was! Jeezus H Christ on a stick! The
biggest house spider I've ever seen before or since! If it were to have
fully extended all of its legs, it'd have measured about 3" across, I've
no doubt.

Not being a big fan of spiders bigger than a little fingernail, I thought
"What can I kill it with?" and looked around the debris in my room.

My eyes rested on my Size 12 Hi-Tec basketball boots; big, heavy,
chuckable. I reached down and carefully picked up a boot which must have
weighed nearly a kilo. Then, with great skill and precision, lofted it
across the six foot gap or so between me and Boris.

"Whump!"

Bullseye!

Satisfied that due to my skill and cunning, I'd eliminated the horrid
threat, I returned to my book and shortly thereafter, sleep followed.

The following morning, I awoke, late as usual and began getting ready for
school. Shirt on, trousies on, tie slovenly tied, ah, trainers, trainers,
where's me other trainer.

A moments recall from the previous night; ah! over there on that small
mound of magazines.

I reached down, picked up the boot and nearly shat myself when this big,
hairy spider, shot out from beneath it!

 

I prefer the 'Hoover' method myself........unless there's a bloke
around who'll do the decent thing....

 

I use an air rifle sans pellet. The high pressure air disintegrates them.

--
Mike

I didn't crash, there was a sudden burst of gravity.

icq - 219328929

 

But surely then you have to use the Hoover or the shower to get rid of
the body.....

 

I still wouldn't want any bodily parts floating in my water
though....eeeeuch...!!

 

Well, of course....depends on their skills ;o)

 

A vibrator can't take a bird out for dinner.

 

Charders said:

Do you live in a pond then?

 

Charders said:

It waves... I've never heard of it counting.

 

It doesn't need to, it's onto a winner from the start.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C/exTS185C
_/_____\_ ..58320../..13655.../..3157./.19406/.fecked.
|_\_____/_| IMC#4 TPPFATUICG#7 YTC#4 DIAABTCOD#9 PM#5
(>|_|_|<) BOTAFOT #70 two#11 Ignoramus #0001
|__|_|__| BOTAFOF #09 IbW#0 & KotIbW# OSOS#07
\ |^| / WG* BotTOS #6 GP#4 ANORAK#17
\|^|/ 2003 RBR landmarks:99 points:2100 miles:8000
'^'

 

Where do you think the idea of egg-timers came from???

 

Charders said:

Aren't you thinking of famine relief? If you get hungry at the beach,
you can eat some of the sand which's there.

 

Nope, I've racked my brains for something here, but I concede defeat
to you, sir ;o) LOL

 

Charders said:

Wot's the prize? Worth struggling to the EOSM to collect?

 

Babe! I'm ALWAYS worth struggling for...... ;o)

 

Charders said:

Hmmmmmmm... Tosses coin thoughtfully...