Don't worry it's the Police....

Is how the man greeted me.

I had been out of bed about two minutes and was still in the process of
getting the bathroom into clear enough focus to try for a rim shot when
there was a knock on the door of the sort that is really only
recognisable by those with ongoing credit problems.

So with skinny legs embellished with knees that have won contests
hanging out from under me dressing gown I opened it, a bit tentative
like you do, "Don't worry it's only the police," came a voice from the
dark.

It seems they had a scrote left over in the cells from the new year
celebrations and were keen to establish that the rightful owner(s) of
some of "his" possessions were not really his. Sadly none of it was the
stuff stolen from me but it is nice to see Essex plod are on the case of
us poor frightened defenceless old folks and not the bikers for a
change. 'Till summer starts of course.

 

steve auvache wrote

Then the phone rang...

"Hello, this is The Doctor's Surgery, nothing to worry about. We just
thought we would remind you that you haven't had your free flu jab yet.
Do you want to pop round sometime and have it done? Mornings are good,
we have the nurse in then."

There is something dodgy going on here.

 

Thought they might have stung you for 'Gross Indecency' at the very least.
Would have been an early plus in their statistics.

 

Well CHP have received a special grant from the Feds to, get this,
target speeding motorcycles.

Cunts, the lot of them.

 

muddy cat wrote

That'll be to get the Triple A to them in the shortest possible time
then?

 

No doubt.