Dnepr Daze

Picked up sweller at Bristol Temple Meads just before noon, and transported
him to the wilds of Welsh Wales in the Fuglypla. The outfit appeared in
good nick for its age, so we loaded it up with ballast, spares, tools and
the essential hairy string, and sweller set off to learn how to handle a
right-hand chair in the scary hills and twisties. Fair play, he got the
hang of it pretty quick, nailing it down the valleys at 40-50mph. Apart
from putting a foot down at the first junction, he didn't put a foot wrong.
Well, he also took a wrong turn and fucked off up the next valley towards
Abertillary with me chasing him and blowing the horn. Took a couple of
miles to catch him, the deaf ****. After that, I led as far as Aust
services. Goes well for a 30-year-old hulk - the outfit, I mean.

At Aust, we topped up the oil, remade a few electrical connection, fell
about laughing etc. Then sweller filled up with petrol and headed off down
the M4.

....and that was the last I heard until a few minutes ago, when he telephoned
with good news and bad news.

The good the outfit's continued to go okay - very well, in fact.

The bad he's crashed it, the clumsy ****.

The gory details: M25-M23 slip road, a little bit fast on a right-hand
curve, some **** carves him up, he shuts the throttle and Newtonian physics
take him into the armco. And over. He gets to his feet, staggers back to
the armco and the outfit's missing. Oh, there it is, chugging off down the
hard shoulder on its own recognisance...

The damage: forks a bit wonky, left-hand rocker cover missing. Sweller has
various bruises and contusions, and he reckoned his boot might be filling
with blud. He was waiting for recovery when he called, and hoping he was
recovered before the old bill showed up and asked about the wrecked armco.
He managed to find a couple of bits of the rocker cover, though, but not
enough to bodge back together.

Further updates when I get them.

 

platypus wrote

Will it convert nearside?

**** all really.

Laugh at him from me will you please.

 

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 19:06:21 GMT, "platypus"

They're fucking evil things, and have no place under a sensible
gentleman's arse.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..74309../..18302.../..3184./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 12 Pts: 220 Miles: 914

 

Bear emerged from their own little world to say

I do hope so. I haven't laughed so much at a UKRMer in ages.

Hope you aren't too sore, Simon.

 

It can join the fucking queue.

 

****

When I've stopped laughing I'll assume my concerned face.

--
Dan L (Oldbloke)
My bike 1996 Kawasaki ZR1100 Zephyr
M'boy's bike 2003 Honda NSR125R
Spare Bike 1990 Suzuki TS50X
BOTAFOT #140 (KotL 2005), X-FOT#000, DIAABTCOD #26, BOMB#18 (slow)

 

They are certainly 'different' to anything else to ride. I've only
ever had a couple of goes - and one of those ended in tears.

When I feel self destructive, I generally don't have a problem finding
an easier way of hurting myself.

 

Everything.
They are just simply *wrong*! Right-handed ones worst of all. I absolutely
hated every trip I made when I had a huuuuge D/A Watsonian on the Guuzzi
after the firstborn arrived. When I finally removed it prior to triking the
old Guz, we were all set for sending it off to Valhalla (on the bonfire) at
a local rally, but some twerp actually gave me £250 for it. Result.
You want a bike which tries to kill you, speak to Wavey Davey. his stroker
sounds amazing. My old road-registered KX500 did it for me: mental things.

JB

 

Part of the initiation isn't it, crashing the outfit on its first
outing. Sweller did it with a lot more style than I did though

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, platypus

Oh dear. I do hope that...

No, no, it's no good I can't keep the act up.

BWAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!

Just too late for FBOTY as well...

<taps foot impatiently>

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Manufacturer of the "Champion-105" range of rearsets

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
ZZR1100, Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"

 

If they go, they tend to stay going - IYSWIM

Sorry, that made me laugh like a drain!
Hope yer ok, sweller!

Strangely, those things are great in a car/outfit interface. Bloke near
me, about 20 years ago, had one called the "Cortina killer". I'll let you
work out why.
--

Cheers!
Fr Jack
96 Tiger.
FRJACKUKRM AT GMAIL DOT COM
skype: fr.jack (without the dot)

 

Oh, most definitely. In the defence of the GoldWing, though, the
throttle isn't a steering device.

Three laps of the Black Horse car park were a sufficiency of
experience, thanks all the same.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..74309../..18302.../..3184./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 12 Pts: 220 Miles: 914

 

Sidecars are a hoot! The Jawa did try to kill you,
but at least it limited the top speed it was trying
to do it at.

 

No, that was YTC. Bought it from TOG, promptly crashed
it at the end of the road 100 meters away, disabled it
and had it "recovered" to Manchester.

I'm the idiot who went up to Manchester to pick it
up and won 5 quid off TOG for riding it back unscathed
to New Barnet.

 

Well, yes, but shutting the throttle, even on the Kwak, does not
command it to veer to the side of the road.

It's cos they're just plain wrong.

[1] or centre, I can't remember which

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..74309../..18302.../..3184./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 12 Pts: 220 Miles: 914

 

No, it was Ged. Wasn't it?
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..74309../..18302.../..3184./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 12 Pts: 220 Miles: 914

 

He went over the Armco.

--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/KH500A8/TS250C
|_\_____/_| ..74309../..18302.../..3184./.19406
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 YTC#4 PM#5
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 two#11 WG*
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4
'^' RBR Landmarks: 12 Pts: 220 Miles: 914

 

On Sat, 16 Apr 2005 19:06:21 GMT, "platypus"

What happened to the bloke with the red flag?

 

No, it wasn't, it was Ged. He crashed it, I think, three times - might
have been four - in one mile. And it took him something like 15 minutes
to cover that mile.

I was leading him, in the car, to the main road, and I watched in my
mirrors as he drove it straight onto the pavement.

Shortly after that there was one of those double mini-roundabouts. I
thought that would be interesting, and I was right. He went straight
over the first one, and (IIRC) anti-clockwise round the second.

The funniest thing was after he'd sabotaged it and called the AA for
recovery, he rang his ex-missus to say that he'd be late delivering
their son home. He had visitor's rights to their son that weekend, and
he was in the chair and (may I say) looking decidedly worried by this
stage.

Ged's ex-wife, on learning that the AA was getting the lad home, merely
snapped: "Well, at least our boy's in the hands of a responsible adult!"
and hung up.

True.

 

ROTFLMAO

It's no good, this is the funniest bin of the year so far.

I *must* buy myself another combo.