Crunch! goes the car

As somebody drives into the back of it, as I'm just sitting in a queue
of traffic, waiting for the lights to change.

That'll be a new bumper, that will, At least his company car fleet
manager has said they aren't going to contest the claim.

That's four times in as many years I've had someone drive into the back
of me. Most memorably, outside a French hotel on a French Run, when mine
was the only car parked on the street at the time and Monsieur Twatty in
his new Audi still failed to see it.

 

Someone is trying to tell you something

 

So, 4 times in 4 years!
You should be banned from driving.

If someone keeps rear-ending you, you are doing something wrong.
I have drove over 250,000 miles (previous 5 years) in city traffic and have
never been rear-ended.

True, some people may be unlucky, but usually you discover the same people
are simple morons.

 

This has happened to me three times in the past 2 years on the bike -
not hard enough to punt me off or do any damage, but a fair jolt on
both occasions. Pretty scary actually.

 

Well, Andrew/Joan, it's like this... Maybe you might like a spot of
anal.

 

Yeah Right !

Mostly people are not paying attention, their eyes are FSCK's, or they
are not leaving "a big enough gap"

It has happend many times to me.

 

The Older Gentleman wrote:

Bit of a habit of being rear ended...<cue dodgy reparteee>

 

On Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:21:06 +0000,

Do you sit there with the hand brake on, not displaying brake lights?

 

As it happens, yes, as recommended by the Highway Code. You'd have
thought that, at night, someone would see the tail lights. And the two
dozen or so cars in front of me.

Prolly fiddling with a mobile telly-fone or summat. He was a salesman,
after all.

 

<Snip>

It's the Christmas Troll!

 

On Fri, 22 Dec 2006 07:20:19 +0000,

I'm sure it's just bad luck but I apply the handbrake nd then 'rest'
my foot on the prake pedal until a car has stopped behind me. That
way I feel the lights are more visible until there's a cushion.

 

That's exactly what I do, and what is taught on advanced driving
courses - "protecting your rear" (f'naar). As soon as there's a car
stationary (or close to it) behind me, I release the brake, of course;
unlike every other **** at lights and in heavy traffic, who beat a
fucking tattoo on the pedal, flashing their annoyingly bright LED
high-level lights right in my fucking eyes.

Just don't get me started on the fucking foglight users, OK.

 

The same happened to me in August, and I'm 4 years NCB down as the
third-party is disputing the claim against her because she's claiming
that the bloke that hit her pushed her into me. This is bollocks.

My Audi got away with a few scratches and has been repaired long since,
her Fiesta was written off and the Almera that hit her was a bit
crumpled.

Once it's all sorted I'll get my NCB back but I've already moved InsCos
as the then current one increased the premium by so much I saved 100
quid by moving.

 

The Audi one was classic. I'd only just got the car repaired from the
previous shunt, and we were checking out of the hotel (French Run, like
I said, and I had family with me that time). I moved the car to right
outside the hotel door so we didn't have to cart the luggage down the
street, and went back in to pay the bill.

Some ukrm-er comes up and says: "Neil, is that your Saab outside?"

"Erm, yes."

"Only some bloke has just driven into the back of it."

"WHAAAT? Not a-fucking-gain!"

There was a cashpoint next to the hotel. Monsieur Twatty had decided he
wanted to get as close to it as possible, and so drove right up to it,
and somehow failed to notice a ton and a half of parked Swedish metal.

This time, the Saab absorbed all the impact with no damage at all, and
the Audi's front bumper was fucked, so we just left it at that.

 

I swear that the French do this on purpose when they park. I've sat outside
restaurants in Sitges watching French cars indulge in what can only be
described as a cabaret.

Ali

 

Bill Bryson, in 'Neither here nor there', describes this, to hilarious
effect, when he observed an Italian trying to park hs Fiat in a space
which was exactly two inches shorter than his car.

 

He's one of the people I can't read in public. I get very odd looks when I
start shrieking with laughter. George MacDonald Fraser's McAuslan books do
that, too.

Ali

 

AOfuckingL. I had 4.5 hours of being dazzled by cunts with rear
foglights yesterday. Whoever invented them should be shot, whoever made
them mandatory on cars should be skinned alive, & anyone who uses them
when there's traffic behind them should be educated - with a hammer if
necessary.

--
Krusty
www.MuddyStuff.co.uk
Off-Road Classifieds

'02 MV Senna '03 Tiger 955i '96 Tiger '79 Fantic Hiro 250

 

Yeah, will someone tell me why the idiots think that they have ANY need for
fog lamps on a crowded motorway? WHEN YOU CAN SEE THE BLOODY CAR IN FRONT!
And as to using full beam in fog.... gah.

Mind you, there's also the ones with no light at all.

Ali

 

I love all of Fraser's books, and yes, the McAuslan books have had me
weeping with laughter. The Flashman books teach one more history, more
enjoyably, than a year's worth of evening classes, too.

Have you ever read 'Mr American'? One of his lesser-known books, and
(IMHO) outstanding. I like the way the aged General Flashman makes a
cameo appearance, too.