Conquer your fears

180157961929

It's the perfect bike for a mid-winter holiday in Germany.

 

And if you don't wash, live rough and sleep in ditches for the next six
weeks it will be man and machine in perfect harmony ...

 

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=180157961929

Bleugh!

 

Stop being negative.

All you have to do is look past that late '70s communist style and
think what fun you could have riding it in the snow.

 

Are we placing bets on the final list of runners?

You, Platy and sweller will be the only confirmed loonies right up
until the week before. Others will have said they might then come up
with excuses such as 'I'm not camping in the snow, it's cold'. Then
sweller will have to work and the Ural will suffer a break down that
isn't cured by not looking at it for a few minutes until it gets its
act together.

Platy will then decide to go on the Z200 (complete with a newly half
fitted dustbin fairing held on by cable ties) which will break down
near Frankfurt. Being determined to continue he'll abandon his steed,
going bitch on your BMW. On arrival at the site you'll both drink so
much you pass out in the snow, Platy will be saved be the drunken
affections of a large German who'll drag him back to his tent. You
will freeze into a skinny icepop.

 

I'm using that excuse up front because I've camped in the snow [1]
before and have no need to experience it again.

[1] A mere -28C, IIRC.

 

You're forgetting that both Donald and Mike Carley have said they're
up for it plus at least half a dozen others have expressed varying
degrees of interest. Burnt will go if he reckons there's even the
slightest chance of a decent bonfire so I'm still confident we'll get
a decent turnout.

You're already showing signs that deep down you want to be there so
why don't you just admit it to yourself and get your manky old Honda
sorted?

 

My father had an MZ150 in that same blue with cream, back in the late '70s
and I'd borrow it when ever my bikes were off the road (i.e. every other
week). This thing had leading-link forks, so the front went up rather than
down under braking, and really narrow OEM tyres that lasted for ever, slide
at the first sign of rain and squealed going round dry roundabouts like the
sound effects in the Bullet car chase scenes.

One dark and rainy Sunday night I was riding from Braintree (Essex) to
Kingston (Surrey) in convoy with mate on a Ducati 860. I was leading, being
on the much slower bike, but by the time we got to Kingston he had a right
strop on and every other work was "f*ck, c*nt...". It seems that I had the
MZ sideways round all the greasy corners through London and the throttle on
the stop most of the way. He, on the other hand had nice and sticky (for
their time) Pirelli tyres which would grip well in the wet, until they let
go at high lean angles and give him a fright. It was all he could do to
keep with me - catching-up on the straights - while I was thinking "This is
fun but I hope I'm not going too slow for him".

On the few occasions I had to do any work on the MZ I was impressed by the
level of (over) engineering. Compared with CZ's, which were crap and the
Russian Planet 125 - Bantam clone (yes my Dad has a strange attraction to
unusual machines) it was engineered to last forever.

 

'It had one mature owner for 25 years who spread his love real thick on this
little beauty'

Fuckin 'ell, is that really a selling point?

 

Canada - where weather means something.

I'm using that excuse up front because I'm not daft enough to
experience it even the once.

 

130150643103

About 20 minutes to go. Bid now and you've got yourself a nice little
Kawasaki with a Jawa sidecar. Much more reliable than the beast that
Platy insists is a good bike and you never need worry again about seat
height.

 

snip prediction

That was at the EOSM under the influence of alcohol though.

He'll take enough flammable stuff to create a bonfire - possibly with
someone else's bike. I still predict it will be you, platy and
possibly sweller though.

snip prediction

I've already said find me a five star hotel with jacuzzi near by so I
can point and laugh and I'll happily go. Need someone with a comfy
bike to take me pillion down there mind - no way I'm riding in snow.

I need to get the manky old Honda sorted so some other nutter can
borrow it - Monz iirc. My prediction still stands.

 

<points>
<laughs>

 

One word "kira"

 

Next year's dates are up - 22nd to 24th of Feb, not January

http://www.alteselefantentreffen.de/

I'll admit to being strangely obsessed with this, still not camping in
the snow though.

 

I don't question any of the above.

I would add that I'll turn up on something like a transalp or a (cheap)
'enduro' styled bike[1]. I will undoubtedly suffer many mechanical
problems simply because the bike I buy will be too old and knackered and
I won't have put enough time into it before the off.

I'll have a few devices suitable for lighting fires and will obsess
about where I can get enough wood from. With a little luck I might even
find the philosophers stone and find a way of turning snow into
something highly inflammable. However it's more likely I'll get a
little pissed.

I think we need to put our money where our mouth is and book the fucking
ferries/chunnel/hotels/whatever.

[1] Which is likely to end up being an MZ or a CB250RS.

 

Bad form, actually that looks like a meet up of people who've done the
elephant before. Even translated it makes little or no sense.

Much like the tax return I'm avoiding by posting to news.

 

You ****.

 

On Sat, 15 Sep 2007 14:58:05 +0100, wrote:

snip>

I'll give it a couple more weeks of throwing insults around then do a
final call for volunteers. After that we can decide on route etc and
book things up.

 

My German isn't up to much so I'll wait for a translator to appear but
that doesn't appear to be what we're planning to do.

http://www.bvdm.de/index.php?id=47&lang=3

As far as I know the BVDM one is the 'original' elephant rally that I
wanted to do years ago so that's the one I'd sooner be doing next
year.

You'll be going.