Chimay and ukrm feckwits (longish)

We'll have to find a nice clear area so I can give you some proper
instruction. Outfits are neither malevolent nor uncontrollable; all it
needs is practice and a little understanding.

 

Too bloody right I was.

To put things in perspective for a moment: I didn't actually fit on
the seat; "Platy's ring"(tm)[1] seemed a little unsafe, and required
me to place my hand within a couple of inches of your bumcrack, and
Bonwick was alternately trying to offer me more beer (by throwing it
over my T-shirt) or disconnect the battery master switch.

Then there was your "enthusiastic" riding style, and the way the thing
weaved all over the shop under braking.

I defy anyone else not to scream under the same torture.

[1] It looks substantial enough, but it soon becomes apparent that
there's nothing structural within the perished rubber of the grab
handle at all.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/CBX1000Z
|_\_____/_| ..91198../..24811.../..31928.
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 WG*
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 PM#5
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4 YTC#4 two#11
'^' RBR Clues: 26 Pts:0500 Miles:1739

 

I though the ability to bring order out of chaos, albeit temporarily,
was also a prerequisite?

 

I haven't just got home.

I was late for my crossing, so I ended up on the 1520. Got chatting to an
old guy from St Albans with a Free State accent and a Rolls Silver Wraith II
in brg, who greatly admired the outfit and showed me his Telegraph with
pictures of the floods.

[1]8:35, unload, bathe, nosh etc

 

Perhaps an ability not to rush to some sort of Manichaean snap judgement at
the first sign of apparent waywardness would be an asset.

 

Letter "A"? That's what I was supposed to be on, but I got waved
through.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/CBX1000Z
|_\_____/_| ..91198../..24811.../..31928.
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 WG*
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 PM#5
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4 YTC#4 two#11
'^' RBR Clues: 26 Pts:0500 Miles:1739

 

Jammy wossname.

 

There is a wire loop, actually.

 

Presumeably for garotting the rider if they won't slow down?

Phil.

 

What makes you think that?

 

<flops about, wheezing with mirth>

 

If the pillion could unclench his fists from the ring-piece in the first
place, he could simply transfer his death-grip to the driver's neck.

 

Fair comment but the shopping area at departure is pretty good for food. By
the time you get onto the train, get gear off, drink coffee (1), take a
dump, clean visor.... you have arrived.

(1)Getting your coffee unspilled onto said train required some yet to be
patented technology though.

 

Gel or glass mat batteries *rock*

 

You had a pillion, didn't you? If you trundle gently, your pillion can
hold the coffee.

In fact, if the coffee place has those little cardboard trays for
carrying multiple drinks, your pillion can hold the coffee and still
hold on, if needed.

 

Did I mention the open-face helmet and goggles?

 

You must be blind, as Tog, Ginge and myself approached the area every 4th or
5th oncoming car flashed the headlights. He was cunningly tucked into the
corner of said bridge behind bushes though.

 

Aye, I was sat down low in the cage, and there was greenery and armco
between the carriageways there.

Alright for you rufty tufty biker types being able to see over the armco ;-)

On the way back I was flashed a couple of times by oncoming traffic, both
times were for unmarked white peugeot estates parked in laybys on single
carriageway roads.

No gendarmes wandering around, but in the boot pointing out of the rear
window were two hoofing great big camera lens (about the size of pudding
bowls).

Crafty beggars these French you know.

 

Not that crafty - cameras that only snap your front end are not going
to pick up many motorcycles... Of course, you were in your Mini, so
fair game.

(It's a nice car, is that.....)

 

Oh isn't it just. The outside lane crawlers, having had to observe lane
sense (or death) in France, need to get their fix. Much horn tooting and
light flashing as I undertook. The M25/M1 roadworks are a special torture
however, neither leave verge or lane width to filter.

My original plan was to ride back on Sunday, overnight somewhere half way
and get home Monday night. I didn't realise some people were staying over an
extra day before crawling out of the tent midday on Sunday (after the
hangover had subsided). It was a very pleasant evening and I enjoyed the
main beer tent. Half of you had already left, I was sorry to miss CIHAGM on
the Turbo and the 400/4. I decided to remain the extra day and a good
decision it was. We had the best campfire I've enjoyed in 15 years, everyone
else had left lots of wood behind and it was still burning on the Monday
morning. Good food had been had first in Hirson and wine acquired.

The downside was the ride home. It rained from Hirson, getting heavier all
the way to Cambrai and it maintained deluge status to the tunnel, through
Kent and all the way to Derby, where the clouds finally cleared and the sun
came out. It proved to me that good PVC waterproofs over leather are the
best option, not a trickle got through. It was 480 miles campsite to door
and I was glad of the fake "Corbin" seat conversion. Regular coffee stops
and one detour into a shopping area stretched the journey over ~12 hours
arriving Yorkshire 9ish.

The Chimay event is excellent, should have done it before and it's in the
diary for '08, probably with a couple of extra days tagged on the end. I
like the relaxed trackside atmosphere and the lack of officialdom. The bikes
(both racing and visitors) were amazing. A couple of the racing BMW's really
caught my attention, one sporting the largest sump conversion to be seen
short of a railway engine. Some cracking Nortons and Laverdas. I'd never
seen an NSU racer before. Loved a couple of the racing 50cc's. Saw one
completely new name with a vaguely Panther like sloping single. The noise of
some starting grids would have drowned out any approach of the German
Panzers.

The ST4S continued to win my admiration. I don't know of anything else with
touring pretentions and OEM hard luggage that can be loaded to the limit and
still handle perfectly. 140 on the motorway without any weaving. Braking
deep into bends and scraping round long sweepers it still feels much like a
solo 996. A lazy 5k, half way to the red line in 6th, is an indicated 97mph
and sustaining 110-120 returns 38mpg with 160 miles between fuel stops.