Cheshunt Bike Workshop = gentleman of the highest order

Phil Holmes, at Cheshunt bike workshop, take a bow.

The story, for those who want to read it, is as follows;

A week ago, on the commute home, I started to notice many car drivers
ahead of me seemed to have heads that were slightly shinier than
usual.

"Either they've all been using Pantene Pro-V or my headlight needs
adjusting." I thought.

Getting home, the problem was found to be ever such a little bit worse
than that. (OK, Lozzo. Given that it's a BMW R1200ST you can start
rubbing your hands with glee and grinning maniacally.) There's this
clever little knob, see? And it's for adjusting the headlight
cluster. It's a plastic knurly nut thing on the end of a metal rod
that when turned pulls against the spring that's constantly trying to
make the headlight point at the treetops.

Only it isn't.

On the end of the metal rod.

It's gorn.

So the rod has disappeared into the headlight casing, having been
pulled all the way in by the aforementioned spring, and my headlight
is now happily illuminating the backs of people's heads, and
incidentally blazing all its lots of lumens right in most people's
eyes via their driving mirrors.

"Ah, well." I thought. "Let's phone sawbridgeworth bmw and find out
where I can get a new knurly nut adjuster thing."

(You can see it coming, can't you Lozzo?)

"Oh, no sir. I'm afraid you can't have one of those on its own.
You'll have to purchase a completely new headlight assembly."

That'll be the top end of 300 quid then, plus VAT, plus labour.

I have to admit, I did say the rude word that Blaney taught me all
those years ago.

However, (and this is where Phil Holmes can take another bow if he
feels like it,) Cheshunt Bike Workshop, which can be found at Unit 4,
Delamere Road, Cheshunt, EN8 9AP, is a bike workshop of the old kind.
A _workshop_, wiv proper machine tools, and metal lathes (or whatever
they're called) and a man who can _make_ stuff.

He's gone and made me a knurly nut from a bit of old metal and a grub
screw, and he's fitted it, and he's stopped me making people shiny,
and all for somewhere in the region of 15% of what BMW would have
taken off me.

So thank you, kind sir, and let all bikers of the North London
persuasion be told that virtually anything you want done to your bikes
can be done in Cheshunt.

 

says...>

Don't you have a box of old nuts and bolts?

One old nut, of the correct size would have done it.

Two or a nyloc nut if you wanted to be sure it wouldn't vanish again.

Cost £0.00p

 

1. I'm not a fettler. I know my limits.

2. I have bicycle nuts and bolts in profusion. These are of a type
that fail to fit the plastic modern motorcycle.

3. The metal rod doesn't have a thread. Instead it has an end of a
type that fails to keep hold of a plastic knurly nut that was probably
manufactured around it, so nuts wouldn't do it.

4. I don't have the tools or the patience to stand out in the rain on
a week night in the dark and piss about with a cludge mend of
something that should a) never have broken in the first place, b) be
much more easy to fix that it was, c) be a replaceable part, with a
part number, that bmw have shelves of at the back of their shop so I
don't have to, d) not cost more than a flight to fucking Croatia.

All of which inevitably lead to Cheshunt Bike Workshop, where people
who enjoy that sort of thing can have fun. Yes, at my expense. But
it's an expense that isn't ridiculously expensive.

 

Its a smooth rod then? Wierd. Ah well, off to B&Q, buy a little bit of
heavy duty choc-block, cut one way off, strip the plastic off and you're
left with a nice collet with double securing screws.

(yes I am a DIY-isti and can think of unorthodox uses for things

 

[happy dance]

 

I thought of other words for it, but yes.

Ooh. That might even have been a good idea.

Are you the type whose house is permanently "in progress", or the one
where it's all finished and luvverly?

 

Heh, the current list of jobs that need doing when I find a spare tuit
down the back of the sofa are;

Get a man in to check that the cracks in the ceilings are just the house
settling and not subsidence.
Depending on the outcome of the above, move into hotel for months or
GAMI to strip the bloody artex and redecorate all the ceilings.
Fill in various gouges/holes in walls.
Paint all of house bar master bedroom (did that couple of months ago).
Ditch all the bling door handles, taps and plug holes.
GAMI to repair the conservatory, which is a bit shite and needs the
structure fixed as it appears to be spreading out under its own weight.
Replace the downstairs fire alarm that I ripped off about a year ago as
it wouldn't shut up.
Chop plants down round front side of house, concrete it, knock wall
down, put large door up, put UPVC panel roof up beween my house and
neighbours, put door up at back of that lot, and voila, one dedicated
bike garage big enough for about 3 bikes, or 2 and lots of bike stuff.
Dig front lawn up and re-turf.
Kill neighbours over the back who haven't trimmed their side of the
hedge for 3 years - or kill hedge and burn it.

I also want to redo the whole kitchen at some point, finish converting
one half of the garage into workshop (electronic repair, metalwork,
general stuff), and re-do the loft insulation and board both lofts
completely.

In spite of all that lot, it doesn't look too bad. Honest!

 

Who has to clean up the mess though? I think the plasterers will pick up
their dust sheets, shake a Henry around the carpet and bugger off,
leaving you with weeks of hoovering dust off of everything

 

Our 1924 place has suspended timber floors with no subfloor or damp
proof membrane, but it has a DPC in the walls. We really ought to have
it all done, but up until now have relied on improved subfloor
ventilation. Helps with the miasma, but not with the heating bills.


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Kneepads, ear protectors, alcohol.
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..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (b.rogers at ifrance.com)
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