Chavs

The old ones are still the old ones :
<ducks, gets coat, leaves quietly>

1 . What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.

4. What do you call a chav on fire?
Blazin'

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight
Of
stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.

7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
not to hit him?
It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint go-faster stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police

12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.

13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a Big Mac please.

14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand

15. What do you call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A

16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 5

17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.

18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, they'll screw anything.

19. What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.

20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."

21. Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the
Car
wash.

22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.

23. What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.

24. Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society

25. Whats the difference between a Nova and a hedgehog
A hedgehog has pricks on the outside

26. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were
approaching Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the
pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they
stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asks the
blonde
employee,
"Before we order, could you settle an argument for us?
Would you please pronounce
where we are... very slowly?" The blonde Girl leans over the counter
And says, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."

 

<snip>

Replace 'chav' with 'paki' and see if any of them are really that funny.

 

you're right - it's much funnier with "jew".

 

ITYM 'yid'.

 

Surely the originals used "Neanderthal".

Then again, even the Neanderthals would probably have been bright enough not
to post ancient and desperately unfunny jokes to ukrm.

--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

*whooosh*

 

or kike.

 

It's not as if anti-semitism has ever killed anyone.

 

darsy came up with the following;:

Polak ...

 

Eh? Why do you think you whooshed with me with your I-wish-I-was-Cane
postings?

--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

cue: Platy quoting someone...

 

It's easy to tell you've never taken part in a spelling bee in a Viet-Cong
internment camp.

--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

Oh FFS.
Now I'm gonna get a bollocking for starting another racist thread.

Dave

 

On 7 Dec 2005 06:02:39 -0800, "Big Dave" <>
wrote:

<snip old modified jokes>

Speaking of chavs...

There's someone sat less than three metres away from me wearing a
Burberry scarf. Should I kill him?

Slowly or quickly?

 

Ask him if he's got a matching hat.

 

Hindus would find them so, and vice versa.

Dunt matter, as long as we (yoomans) can joke about our neighbours, we
aren't killing them.

 

He's wearing a beige leather flat cap, Yorkshire style.

It's quite amusing on an Indian chap. Students, eh?

 

Red Sea pedestrian.

 

Front-wheeler

 

Oh, all right:

"The personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the
living shape of the Jew."

Happy?