Bump: Tell me again why we're not allowed to execute smoking cardrivers?

Some of us lurkers have very long memories Mr Bacon. Some older women
have long mammaries. Was it Gino or was it Romeo?.....

Sir Bacon said
"Thanks to the backwards-hat wearing guy who flicked his cigarette butt
out of his crappy VL Calais this morning. It was a real neat trick
getting it to lodge in a crevasse in my jacket, resulting in a burn
hole.

I'm just glad the jacket is not long due for replacement. If I got your
entire rego number, I'd be on the phone to the EPA litter line as fast
as heck.

Next time, Gino..."



But I remembered.....

From: Eliminator - view profile
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2001 8:25 am
Email: "Eliminator" <>
Groups: aus.motorcycles


This happened to me on my commute to work this morning... I swear every word
is true.

I have a bit of a cold at the moment, so part of my morning "routine" is a
thorough cleaning of the nasal passages, throat & lungs (hocking up a few
greenies/grots/grogans/oysters) before putting my helmet on, as I find
coughing and spluttering inside my visor while riding is not generally
desireable. This morning, however, my morning routine was disrupted and I
was running a little late, causing me to inadvertently forego this simple
yet important procedure.

The first ten minutes of the ride went by fairly uneventfully. I approached
a major intersection (Bell St. and High St. Preston, for those who know
Melb's Northern suburbs) and split the traffic which had just come to a
stop. I could see the boom gates on Bell St. ahead were just closing to
allow a train to enter Bell station. This fact, coupled with the regular
light cycle at this intersection meant I had about 2 minutes to sit and
wait. I kicked the bike into neutral and flipped up my visor.

To my right was a young P-plater (let's call him Gino) in what can only be
described as a "peach" hyundai excel... what a horrible colour. What sort of
guy drives one of those? It was at this point that I realised that I needed
to free myself of some phlegm. I started by making that great wretching
sound (you know, the one that makes your wife cringe) to drag the slime up
from the furthest reaches of my lungs, to FILL my mouth with a semi-solid
oyster of mammoth proportions. I pulled down on the chin-guard of my helmet
to give me maximum possible clearance, and proceeded to slag...

To my horror, the projectile snagged the chin guard and slid down the
outside of my helmet, dangling gracefully from my helmet like a
greenish-yellow stalectite, dripping viscously onto my fuel tank. It was at
this point that I realised Gino had witnessed the entire event.

He was doing everything he could to contain himself... unsuccesfully. I
could see him now lauging openly at my misfortune... shit. I could feel my
face turning bright red inside the black AGV... sorta like an inverse jaffa.

I did the only thing I could do... I collected up the remnants of the
offending grommit in my right glove, and flung it unceremoniously across
Gino's windscreen. I estimate it stretched about 15cm across his screen,
right in his field of vision... what a shot!

His facial expression turned from laughter to horror in an instant, then he
began to turn as green as that grogan... fumbling for the washer/wiper.

The lights turned green, and I wasted no time in getting away from the line,
weaving my way across 2 lanes to cross the railway line, and turn left up
St. Georges' road looking back in my rear-view mirror to see a contstant
stream of water hitting Gino's windscreen... he appeared to be having
trouble budging the thing!

I felt satisfied in my efforts, and was able to ignore the slime on my tank,
right glove and throttle... at least until I got to work. The only thing I
should've done differently, was not waiting until I got to work (Bourke St.
City) before I cleaned up... the stream of people walking past at 8:30am
were not impressed at such a sight at that time of the morning... oh well,
life goes on.

--
Eliminator - EL250, CX500
ICQ# 5662270
http://www.baconplanet.com

==============================================================================
Reply: by flightyswine aka Romeo
==============================================================================

From: Romeo Fetuccine
Date: Wed, Nov 21 2001 10:56 pm
Email: "Romeo Fetuccine" <>
Groups: aus.motorcycles

Hello to fellow bikies. I am Romeo who visits your lovely cuntry Australi. I
too am bikie and have a very fast scooter which I ride around with my best
friends. Anyway I am sitting at the traffic lights in my Hyundai car I
borrowed from friends when this funny fellow stops next to me on this Kawa -
saki crooser. It is strange bike, I think is like Harley Davidson for dwarf.
This strange man tries to spit out the evil thing which makes him want to
ride such silly moto bicycle and it (the evil thing, not the bicycle) hits
the inside of his helmet and dribbles down his front. He looks so silly this
man on his little machine. I must laugh at him so that he knows his
stupidity, har har har I say, but he get very cross and throws his evil at
my car. Firstly you send navy to war in landlocked cuntry, then you vote for
dwarf for leader, then crazy guy on moto bicycle suitable only for dwarf
leader throws ball of evil pesto at me. Australi is strange land. "