Brown to become black before next election. British Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, announced today that he will be converting to blackism before the next general election. Speaking on Radio 4's 'Today' programme Mr Brown insisted, "I have a great affinity with the nig-nogs and It is my deepy-held personal belief that I have a touch of the tar-brush". Deflecting criticism that he was trying to muster popular support he struck out against accusations that he'd been on more band-wagons than a Rolling Stones' roadie, saying, "I am personally saddened by these accusations, which are obviously racially motivated ... innit". News sources have been quick to draw parallels between Mr Brown's announcment and Tony Blair's decision, last year, to start believing in a slightly different god to the one he'd previously believed in, although a spokesman for the Prime Minister was quick to point out that while Tony Blair had converted to a new faith Mr Brown had always been black, it was simply that nobody had noticed. A Downing Street press release pointed out that as "nigger" was an obsolete term for "brown" the Prime Minister felt a kinship to his black brothers and the now was the right time to announce his race. Speaking to journalists, while buying half a dozen tins of Cherry Blossem, Peter Mandelson gave his full support to the Prime Minister, saying that he was "brave to choose to make his race public at this difficult time, without thought for the harm it could do to his political career". While handing over used notes from a brown envelope Mr Mandelson also let slip that plans are in place for Conservative leader, David Cameron, to be flown to Vietnam to be tortured. A spokesman for the campaign for racial equality, which campaigns for racial equality in Britain, issued a statement saying that the charity "supported and respected the individual's choice to define their own racial background", but added that, "In this particular case it does appear that Mr Brown is playing the cunt". A MORI poll of inner-city blacks on this issue reported that support for the move was mixed, but, on a more positive note, H was down to £8 a hit. Former Prime Minister Tony Blair, whose support for Mr Brown has been half-arsed at best, broadly supported his successor's move, but suggested political motivations, saying, "If a four-by-two had become president then Gordon would have been at his wang with a cheese grater before the democrats had finished cheering". He also added, "You do know it's £2,500 a quote, don't you?"
