[blog] house arrest

Is he on your property, 'cos if he is you could go out and menance him
with your accent. Admittedly we'd lose the regular updates but there
would be a much better story once you got back from the police station.

 

I just went to go out to Tesco and found there is police cordon tape
across the front of our drive, leading from the lamppost to the left
of the house, past the bus shelter to the corner of next side-road. A
policeman asked me for my details and my "reason for being in the
vicinity" (fortunately actually living here appeared to be a good
enough excuse). My details were "recorded" (written down) and I've
been told I can't leave the house for at least an hour[1]. Apparently
a woman was assaulted, and I have to wait until the SOCO has done his
"forensic business"

[1] I'm pretty sure I could if I really wanted to, but watching what's
going on is mildly interesting.

 

That's outrageous!

I mean - *you* go to *Tesco*?!

 

Heh, someone just phoned me having passed your house to ask if you
were okay!

 

heh.

I bet you shop in Lidl, you pikey.

 

You mean: "Have they finally got the bastard?"

 

it would make more sense if this hypothetical person had phoned me.
Because, like, what would you care? ;-)

 

another development - I've now got a "London Buses Network Operations"
"Incident Response Unit" van parked across the end of my driveway.

This is better than "Homes under the Hammer"!

 

I dare you to ask them to shift it so you can get your car out.

 

it was parked on the road, but has gone now. The tape's still there.
it gets more bizarre - a policeman has just knocked on my door and
delivered an Amazon order, as they couldn't let the regular postman
cross the crime scene cordon.

There's a bloke outside in a full-on white "clean-room" style coverall
and mask - TBH, I thought they only did that on TV; what's the point
in wearing a getup like that *outside*?

 

What a time to receive your copy of Semtex For Dummies.

 

you insult me.

 

There's no better way to blow up a baby.

 

To avoid the smell of poor people?

 

To ensure that they don't contaminate the crime scene with anything
that wasn't there in the first place.

 

Oh, I know the theory; my point was, it's drizzly and windy as ****
here today - all manner of crap is blowing around the crime scene.

Anyway, they've gone now.

 

I doubt he had your number but you're right, I didn't care ;-)

 

lol

 

<fx:moves back from edge of seat>

 

Come to think of it, wft was he doing outside darsy's house in the
first place?