Bike Security Chains

I'm just finishing off a promo DVD for Almax that shows Alex (from
Almax) and Zanx (the guy who was responsible for getting circular key
locks removed from sale by most manufacturers when he proved they can be
opening with a felt tip pen) cropping a number of different chains.

If you're interested, the results were:

Abus Granite - 25 seconds
Abus Granite City X-Plus - 17 seconds
Datatool Python - 33 seconds
English Chain Superlink - 16 seconds
Kryptonite Forgetaboutit - 29 seconds
Oxford Monster - 14 seconds
Squire MC4 - 63 seconds

All the chains are Sold Secure Gold, Thatcham Approved or both, and are
supposed to be able to survive attack by bolt croppers for at least 5
minutes.

It looks like someone in the testing world isn't doing their job...

As for the Almax chains, the Series IV was just scratched, even with two
men both jumping on the croppers, and the Series III trashed the cropper
blades and straps.

I've stuck a couple of vids online if you're interested:

http://www.asqg42.dsl.pipex.com/almax/oxfordmonster.wmv
http://www.asqg42.dsl.pipex.com/almax/englishchain.wmv
http://www.asqg42.dsl.pipex.com/almax/abusgranite.wmv

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

How the hell can they advertise those resistance times?

 

I believe they test with the shorter handle version of croppers.

 

Nope. Thatcham refuse to say what they do when you give them £2000 to
test your chain, but Sold Secure use the exact same croppers as used in
the vids, which is why they were used for this test.

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

Maybe they use little pretend thieves without much body weight.

 

Sold Secure 'is now administered by the Master Locksmiths Association.'

Obviously I'm not insinuating that there's any conflict of interest...

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

Interesting.

I looked and my chain, Onguard (picture of a dog on the lock), is
Thatcham approved. I wonder it it's one of those but sold here under
another name?

 

So imagine what one of those neat little hydraulic chain cutters is
going to achieve, and a sight easier to carry around.

Almax already had something like this up, hope you are going to point it
all out to the Insurance Industry.

I've taken to running a chain/padlock through the back wheel locked
tight over the seat. At least makes it feckin difficult to get at it
with hand croppers such as you featured.

 

I just make vids these days, but Almax want to tell everyone.

Sold Secure claimed earlier today that it was all faked - but refused
Almax's invitation for a private demonstration. I think Thatcham refused
to discuss the results at all.

I know they want to send copies of the vid to all the insurance
companies out there so they know the score.

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

<sniff>

I think I smell fish... no, wait a minute; it's the whiff of bullshit
emanating from the MLA. Could, of course, be the stink of corruption.

 

Scary stuff. I notice that Almax don't do their own locks though - did they
do similar testing on the Squire lock they sell? Not much good having an
Uberchain, if the scrotes can crop the lock instead. .

 

Did you read the fucking thing?

Anyway, I want to see some tests with a battery powered angle grinder

 

Uh.. yeah. What did I miss?

 

They use Squire locks, which are apparently superb. Bizarrely, the
Oxford Padlock was dramatically harder to break than the Oxford chains.

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

Why does it say "these locks are shit-hot and 2nd to none,
guaranteed!"? Or worms to that effect?...

 

So the Squire locks perform as well as the Almax chains?

*Looks out of front door and checks Fazer*

 

They seem to, yes.

--
Veggie Dave
UKRMHRC#2 BOTAFOF#08
IQ 18 FILMS http://www.iq18films.com
POST PRODUCTION http://www.iq18films.co.uk
Toxic Shock Syndrome Gets More Girls Than Me

 

Hog wrote

Sad to say but I think a hydraulic bolt cropper is the way to go for
sheer speed with this one. Not as elegant as solutions go as the humble
angle grinder I do concede but fast, where fast is a requirement.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Veggie Dave belched forth and ejected the
following:

I've got the MC4 lock and chain.

I really should get round to using them.

 

In uk.rec.motorcycles, Muck belched forth and ejected the following:

A fucking ferry chain and anchor won't stop the cunts burning it though.