Apparently...

....The Tesco delivery man has never been asked if he brought his own
lube or if he relied on the customer to provide it on his behalf. "Most
people just want to know if they've got their points on their card and
their sports for schools vouchers. If I'd have known I'd have
substituted the little packs rather than the value packs".

Regrettably, on T's return I said "We're rather short on fridge space so
buy as little as we can get away with, just a bit of milk, that sort of
thing". Using Babelbint, she heard this as "Shop for food. Shop for food
like your life depends on it. Leave no corner of the fridge empty or you
will have let yourself down, you will have let all of womankind down".

So, when the happy may from Tesco turned up with 5lbs of mince - and
declined to have it shoved up his arse [1] - I had to find somewhere to
put it. With no fridge space and no freezer, the only option was outside
in the cold box with an ice-pack.

And so it is that I have to say the words that I never thought I'd say -
Mr Eaton, your meat is in my passage.

Consider your card well and truly marked.

[1] Don't shoot the messenger and all that; apparently I have to "take
it up with your mate that's obviously a bit of a practical joker, what
with him sending you all that mince"

 

If they told you to jump off a cliff, would you, eh? Eh? Eh?

 

Fucking *stroll* on! This has just had me being seriously bollocked for
laughing very, very loudly and waking up my youngest.
You could sell your recent saga as a film script. No really.
JB

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Gyp

Only if it was funny.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer As featured in
Performance Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

You need to get out more.

If it helps, T has helped today by tidying my tools away into the garage
(cos that clearly where you'd want them to be if you were working in the
kitchen), and I've killed one of the 3 cabinets I've built today.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Gyp

Have a burger. You'll feel better. Or spag bol. Or cottage pie. How
about a nice lasagne?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer As featured in
Performance Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

No time. I'm halfway through wiring/plumbing our new extension. I too know
what it's like living in a building site.

I have just had to scrap 3 of the wall units I've built and carefully hung
due to a last minute change of mind by the SO, who now wants them in a
different location where the cupboard ends are now visible, so now need to
be fitted with decorative end panels. Only problem is that the first thing
you screw/glue together when building said untts _is_ the sodding end panel.
Bollocks.

JB

 

*Ding*. Anything for a quiet(er) life.
JB

 

"You're a spy!"

"No, I'm a shepherd!"

"Aha. A shepherd's pie!"

c. Milligan.S.
--
| ___ Salad Dodger
|/ \
_/_____\_ GL1500SEV/CBR1100XXX/CBX1000Z
|_\_____/_| ..87446../..22490.../..31893.
(>|_|_|<) TPPFATUICG#7 DIAABTCOD#9 WG*
|__|_|__| BOTAFOT #70 BOTAFOF #09 PM#5
\ |^| / IbW#0 & KotIbW# BotTOS#6 GP#4
\|^|/ ANORAK#17 IbB#4 YTC#4 two#11
'^' RBR Clues: 84 Pts:1800 Miles:5704

 

Guilty as charged m'lud.

JB

 

I'm sorry but this sorry tale is both making me laugh my head and be
extremely concerned about letting proper professional builders loose in
my flat to renovate those parts of it that need doing.

 

I'll be down your way in a couple of weeks; shall I bring my tape
measure?

 

Having just picked up the keys for my new place yesterday its making
me _want_ to get in professionals for the kitchen and bathroom!

Off the clean the bloody place now...

 

It's taken a while to work that out as with mine the end panels are the
last thing that you screw on.

Something I've got right at last!

 

<innocent voice>
I'm overseas!

 

I wouldn't bother. More than half of my problem is that I cannot work
out what I like or dealing with colours / finishes / style of fixtures
like lighting. The broad scope is written down but it's making sure all
the small bits that can cause the reworking of a job later on are dealt
with that is a pain.

I think I can say for certain though that I don't want a pink kitchen
;-)

 

I've decided I'm going to get round this problem I'm painting the entire
ground floor in matt pure brilliant white.[1] That way "stuff" can
contribute any colour needed.

[1] Tomorrow whilst watching the WSBK, probably.

 

Motorcycle racing really fascinates you, doesn't it?

 

I wouldn't say fascinates, no. Its good as televised sports go though.

 

Fled the country, eh? As good as an admission.