Anyone need a hand giving birth?

Discussion in 'UK Motorcycles' started by Gyp, Mar 2, 2005.

  1. Gyp

    Gyp Guest

    Apparently I have to give SWMBO a lift to work in the Octavia today as
    it has contraction control.
     
    Gyp, Mar 2, 2005
    #1
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  2. Gyp

    platypus Guest

    Rubber driving gloves, and get her to put her feet up on the dash.
     
    platypus, Mar 2, 2005
    #2
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  3. Gyp

    Colin Wilson Guest

    <HaroldSteptoeMode "You *dirty* old man">
     
    Colin Wilson, Mar 2, 2005
    #3
  4. Gyp

    platypus Guest

    Stand on the brakes and yell "PUSH" - ABS, gas'n'air. Good thing it's not a
    Volvo...
     
    platypus, Mar 2, 2005
    #4
  5. Gyp

    AndrewR Guest

    For safe power delivery?

    --
    AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
    Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
    BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
    BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
    The speccy Geordie twat.
     
    AndrewR, Mar 2, 2005
    #5
  6. Gyp

    Gyp Guest

    Well, having assured me that we *had* to take the Skoda as it was fitted
    with more space age gadgetry than most space missions, SWMBO was amazed
    to discover that the slightest touch of the brakes caused the ABS to
    kick in and cause us to carry forwards with no indication that the car
    would actually stop.

    Indeed, the keep-you-moving-forwards-at-all-costs joy that is a diesel
    engine combined with the brakes being switched off electronically meant
    that despite best intentions we weren't going to stop. Unless I shoved
    it into neutral and put my feet out in a 5-year-old-on-a-pushbike
    stylee.

    So we did a tour round one of the posher estates in the area (i.e. made
    use of the run-off) and had another go.

    I was somewhat surprised, nay pissed-off, to discover that the big
    "switch off all that electronic trickery and put up on the massive
    beware-death imminent warning light" button only turns off the bit that
    stops you spinning your wheels (which is not much use on a massively
    over-tyred 1.9 diesel) but does not turn off the ABS.

    The one thing worse than not having ABS is having ABS that you can't
    turn off.

    Ah well, I finally dropped off SWMBO and then took Horse to school. On
    the way back I notice a driver of the feminine persuasion drive through
    a red light on the pedestrian crossing close to the school, to the
    horror of the pram pushing masses just starting to cross. Seizing the
    opportunity to share some words of wisdom, I walked straight out into
    the road in front of her.

    Luckily she stopped; probably no ABS. I remonstrated in an assertive
    manner and then crossed the crossing. Of course by this time I was a
    touch to late so I get an earful of abuse from the other drivers for
    starting to cross when the green man has started flashing.

    I've had enough for today. I'm going back to bed and may start the day
    again later :-(
     
    Gyp, Mar 2, 2005
    #6
  7. Gyp

    Champ Guest

    Got a love her, doncha.

    Any news on the weekend?
    --
    Please add "imo" to above post.
    Champ
    GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZX7RR Endurance Racer x 2
    GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 WG*#1 DFV#8
    Team UKRM Racing : www.team-ukrm.com
     
    Champ, Mar 2, 2005
    #7
  8. Gyp

    rb Guest

    Unlike my Bandit which sulked all the way to work this morning. It
    refused to accelerate and stalled at all the lights.
     
    rb, Mar 2, 2005
    #8
  9. Gyp

    Gyp Guest

    Not as yet. I mentioned it last night, but as she was dashing out for an
    evening of thespian action, and I was settling in for early night with
    Gordon the hot water bottle we didn't actually have a complete
    conversation as such.

    I'm approaching normality and I think we're both in the house tonight,
    so I should have a better idea by this evening.
     
    Gyp, Mar 2, 2005
    #9
  10. Gyp

    Gyp Guest

    My I suggest skinning the head until the compression id 23:1, then weld
    up the spark plug holes.

    remember to fill it at the pump with the black hose.
     
    Gyp, Mar 2, 2005
    #10
  11. Gyp

    Champ Guest

    Yeah? I had to take the car to the garage this morning for its MOT,
    and I didn't notice any lack of grip at all.
    --
    Please add "imo" to above post.
    Champ
    GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZX7RR Endurance Racer x 2
    GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 WG*#1 DFV#8
    Team UKRM Racing : www.team-ukrm.com
     
    Champ, Mar 2, 2005
    #11
  12. Gyp

    'Hog Guest

    I thought you had the company Saab thing? or did you opt out.
    We need to be talking about the forthcoming race season if I'm going to
    help out at all.

    'Hog
     
    'Hog, Mar 2, 2005
    #12
  13. Gyp

    Champ Guest

    I liked it so much I bought it :)
    Sure. Are you on the mailing list? I'll try and sort it <thinks> but
    I can't access yahoo groups at work.
    --
    Please add "imo" to above post.
    Champ
    GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZX7RR Endurance Racer x 2
    GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 WG*#1 DFV#8
    Team UKRM Racing : www.team-ukrm.com
     
    Champ, Mar 2, 2005
    #13
  14. Gyp

    Muck Guest

    Talking about lack of grip, someone told me that councils are putting
    sugar into the grit this year, coz it's cheaper. Had the added effect of
    reducing grip too.

    I don't know how true the sugar things is, anyone care to enlighten me?
     
    Muck, Mar 2, 2005
    #14
  15. Gyp

    MikeH Guest

    When I tested my bike this morning it was salty, not sweet.
    Maybe I should have licked a different bit.
     
    MikeH, Mar 2, 2005
    #15
  16. Gyp

    Muck Guest

    Tyre licker. :)

    Anyway.. what part of the country are you in?
     
    Muck, Mar 2, 2005
    #16
  17. Gyp

    AndrewR Guest

    Gyp wrote:

    I think my late, lamented (and cremated) Audi is the only car I've ever been
    in with a button to turn off the ABS.

    --
    AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
    Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
    BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
    BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
    The speccy Geordie twat.
     
    AndrewR, Mar 2, 2005
    #17
  18. Gyp

    Muck Guest

    My Renault 21 turbo is the only car I've been in that decided to turn
    off its ABS without any warning. Nice.
     
    Muck, Mar 2, 2005
    #18
  19. Gyp

    MikeH Guest

    Dorset/Hampshire, I live in one & work in the other.
    They seem to have been trialling the new salt round here as an
    alternative to speed cameras.
     
    MikeH, Mar 2, 2005
    #19
  20. Gyp

    Muck Guest

    I'd like to know what bright spark though up that new salt stuff. Whats
    needed is some sort of proof, if MPs are to be contacted.
     
    Muck, Mar 2, 2005
    #20
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