Anybody after a cheap Ferrari?

AndrewR says...

Not bad, He's done quite a nice replica job. Its a shame that the alloy
handbrake is the wrong colour. It should be an anodized blue not gold
for that model year, and there's something not quite right in the engine
bay, though I can't quite put my finger on it.

 

"it was deliberate".

 

Whinging Courier

Drove one of those for years. Fantastic little car, practically
undestructible,
massive loading space.

 

Somebody's put a lawnmower engine in there?

--
AndrewR, D.Bot (Celeritas)
Kawasaki ZX-6R J1, Fiat Coupe 20v Turbo
BOTAFOT#2,ITJWTFO#6,UKRMRM#1/13a,MCT#1,DFV#2,SKoGA#0 (and KotL)
BotToS#5,SBS#25,IbW#34, DS#5, COSOC# Suspended, KotTFSTR#
The speccy Geordie twat.

 

If I didn't already have a perfectly good (pending MOT monday, and
ignoring the pissing oil leak) winter runabout, I'd be sorely tempted
if only for comedy value.

 

I like the fact the headlights appear to be half full of water.
(http://i22.ebayimg.com/01/i/03/89/8c/22_12_sb.JPG)

 

People pointing at you & laughing isn't really comedy you know.

 

AndrewR composed the following;:

Heheheh

I guess it's like babies being pug ugly except to their mothers ...

 

Oh, yes. The GTti. Fearsome little beastie - up to about 70 mph.

A Strange Lad I worked with once had one as a lease car, it being the
'highest performance' car he could get his hands on within the terms
of the lease and still manage to make minimal contribution towards.
The lease company wore the cost of the first pair of front tyres, that
he destroyed in 2,000 miles. When he went back to them 3,000 miles
later for a set of four they were distinctly unimpressed - and he had
to pay for the next pair of fronts 2,500 miles after that.

He was hysterically protective of the car before, but once he had to
pay for tyres he became ... obsessive, I suppose. Lunch times would
generally find him washing or polishing the little black and silver
beastie - or buffing the sidewalls of his tyres and applying another
layer of white to the lettering. Rainy days he would sit in the
office idly flicking through the Owner's Handbook, regaling his
neighbours with random facts and details therefrom and re-telling them
how wonderful his car was.

It was a remarkably lightweight and chuckable little car - which we
found out the day that he really pissed off a bunch of us, so we went
out into the car park, picked it up between five of us and moved it in
between a pair of concrete bollards. The first time it went between
bollards lengthways, with the bollards an inch from the doors. He had
to get in through the back to escape. The second time it went in
widthways, bollards a couple of inches from the bumpers and he had to
go and buy a trolley jack from Halfords to drag it out sideways.

Things came to a bit of a head the day that somebody nicked the
battery out of his alarm bipper, when he left his keys on his desk.
Once the hysterics subsided, he sussed that and stuck another battery
in - having the battery discharged and replaced was a bit more
difficult for him.

He got a bit shouty one afternoon when he went outside and found his
car surrounded by people - many people. His car was in the fountain
at the rear of the offices. The fountain was drained for maintenance
and his car had been carried about 100 feet into the garden, lifted
over the foot-high wall around the fountain and then lowered three
feet to the base. I believe his insurers paid for the cost of the
truck with the HIAB and replacement of the wall and the flowerbeds
damaged in the operation.


Driving it was startling, to say the least. Quicker than a Metro
Turbo, more refined than a Uno Turbo, flightier than either. Almost
inevitable wheelspin from rest, especially when turning out from a
give-way. It didn't slide getting towards the limit, it skipped. And
bounced, a bit alarmingly. Fantastic brakes, but limited grip led to
even more tyre wear.

The weekend I lent Strange Lad my car to move stuff in, I had the
GTti. Almost devastatingly quick it was, across country. Almost
holes in the hedges, there were, on several occasions when the car's
enthusiasm overcame its always fragile hold on the tarmac.

It was on a dual carriageway, however, that I discovered the Achilles
heel. I popped into the outside lane to slip past some slower
vehicles and hoofed the little beast. All was well for a couple of
seconds as the rev counter needle swung around, then as it hit the
redline, just before I could change up - all the red warning lights
came on, the engine cut and we were dead stick.

I thought I'd fucked it. Clutch down, into neutral and slip back into
Lane 1 ... coast for a bit and look for a lay-by. No lay-by and an
eight-wheeler closing on the back bumper inspired me to turn the
ignition key - and it fired straight up. I drove on a little
steadier, wondering.

On an empty road, I did it again. Just to see, like. Second gear,
floor the throttle up to the redline - cut out. Dashboard went full
disco, radio went off, engine dead. Restarted on the key after a
couple of seconds and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Trying again, I established that it wouldn't bump start while rolling
- not even if the ignition was switched off (watch that steering lock,
old boy) and back on again. Nor would it restart immediately on the
key - it was as if a reset period of a couple of seconds had to elapse
before the ignition was live again.

I raised the question with a Daihatsu Service Manager and he told me
that "They all do that, Sir. They're meant to do that, Sir - avoids
damage to the turbo unit, Sir".

Amazing. Fucking dangerous, too.

 

Bear says...

My Mercedes Vito van used to do exactly the same if you pulled away
sharpish and revved to the redline in first. It did it with Ginge in the
pasenger seat once, while on the A10 in Enfield, in lane 3 at a set of
lights. I coasted gently across 2 lanes of fast moving traffic while
Ginge sat there wibbling in the passenger seat. You had to wait 30
seconds before being able to restart the engine, and then it came in on
restricted power for another 30 seconds before you could drive it
properly. Fucking dangerous idea IYAM.

 

Apparently on date Fri, 4 Mar 2005 17:53:31 -0000, "AndrewR"

Actually, that's a nice job. The way he's got the body, it's just like an F50
with the fairing blended into the roof and wing just like on the real one, not
riveted on with plastic bits like usual.

I reckon he ought to work for Ferrari, in fact.

 

Lozzo says...
<stuff>

Aren't you supposed to be in Buxton?

 

MattG says...

No, I sent him a cheque instead and he's sending it on.

 

Lozzo says...

Oh right. Given the state of your memory, I thought it best to
check.

 

MattG says...

I thought this was the best plan of attack, cos I'd probably get half
way there then forget what I was going for and end up in Hulland Ward
wondering why no-one's turned up for the BOSM.

 

Anything is faster than a Metro Turbo.
Even a Renault 5 Turbo was twice as fast as a Metro Turbo.
Strangely enough, all the British Leyland cars I've driven with
turbos have a little extra kick just before the redline.
I suppose it gives a higher paper power figure without stressing
the crappy A or O series engine too much.

 

() gurgled happily, sounding much like
they were saying :

Nah, he enjoys his job at TVR just fine.

 

Calling anyone else 'dumb' .. yes, excellent form.

 

<uk.rec.cars.misc , raden , >
<>

Actually he seems to have mellowed in his old age .

Wonder if he still rips the wing mirrors off cars that cut him up or
pull out in front of him

 

Nah