Another year older, fatter and slower

Did my local half-marathon today, hadn't really trained adequately
(because I've been v.busy.) However got around in 2:01:13. Would have
preferred under 2 hours but happy enough with the result- my target was
to complete around 2 hours and in retrospect I could have gone faster
without too much trouble if I'd used my elbows more in the early stages.

I guess the fact I'm about 10 kilos heavier than this time last year
made it harder. Strange that 'cos my waist is not much larger (maybe a
couple of cm). Suppose it's between my ears.

 

Better than I did today. Did 10km for Sport Relief in 1h 32m. First
5km in 30 minutes Not bad I suppose, given in November last year
I could barely run.

 

Well it's two hours faster than I could've done it if I'd used my elbows all
the way.

I'm sure someone will say "use your feet next time", but it's a bit obvious.


--
Beav

VN 750
Zed 1000
OMF# 19

 

Well, that's good progress in three and a bit months. So come July or
so you could be on for a half marathon, There's one in London in early
October...

 

WTF would you want to 'use your elbows' in any case? It isn't a
life-or-death competition, is it? Last time I looked, these things
were 'fun runs', populated by amateur masochists and fundraising cunts
who like to dice with death by suffocation or dehydration inside
chicken outfits.

So there's no financial inducement to place better, there's no
national pride at stake, the only thing in the balance is your ego -
which I'll grant you is a fragile little pink thing at best and should
be nurtured carefully in its padded box - so there's no justification
at all in ruining the day of any of your fellow masochists by smacking
them round the face with your fucking bony bits, is there?

 

You just don't get this 'competitive' bit do you?

A few broken noses would have seen a clearer path and probably a sub 2
hour time for him.

 

Oddly enough (he says, comparing physiques with the lanky lurcher) I
used to run long distance competitively.

1. The sense of achievement thus gained would equate to the glow of
satisfaction felt when jingling the coins silently stolen from a blind
beggar's box.
2. In order to break a nose with your elbow, you first need to be
largely in front of the runner whom you are going to assault.
Tripping from behind is the way forward, so to speak.
3. A sub 2 hour time isn't all that - the amount of training the
sackless bastard does, you'd think he'd be able to maintain a better
rate of progress than 6.5mph.

 

Science has madee great advances in recent years, forget all this nose
breaking mallarkey and upgrade to a tazer.

 

It wasn't a completely serious comment. What was meant was that had I
pushed my way through the crowd a little more at the start (there were
12,000 starters) I'd have knocked a few minutes off. The first 500m+
were done at little more than a walk.

Where did I suggest that I wanted to smack anyone around the face.

Plus, regarding fragile egos, I'd have a look closer to home; your posts
lately seem to be nothing but attempts to prove your superiority.

 

<>:

"used to".

Try doing it now. It's a lot harder in your forties than it was in your
teens and twenties.

I've done 1.48 in the past.

What's the best time you've done a half marathon in?

 

What else would you use your elbows for?

You seem to be confusing me with somebody else.

 

I expect it is, and I know my limitations. Various joints wouldn't
accept running any distance at all.

Time? No idea. I do have a certificate (somewhere) signed by Lord
Brendan of Foster himself, for finishing the first Great North Run,
though.

 

On Mar 16, 5:03 pm, wrote:
[snip whatever]

I was thinking about you at the weekend[1]

You work in the cellphone industry, don't you? A Question: does anyone
offere a contract that provides more than one phone on a single bill?


[1] not in that way.

 

It was a turn of phrase- as well you know.

I don't think I am.

 

I'm sorry but I wouldn't have a clue. Probably do, at least I get a
single bill from my employer but it is a staff tarrif. Lots of small
businesses are on these kind of bills (or at least were back in the days
when I was customer facing 14 or so years back.)

Sorry. Not much help.

 

Thanks.

My brother is trying to rope me into the Royal Parks Half Marathon in
October.

I'll see how I get on with it.

 

[snip]

sorry, should have been clearer (though it doesn't look like it would
have made much difference); I know you can get business tarriffs like
this, I was wondering if anyone marketed a "family pack" style thing.

Maybe I'll go patent the idea myself.

 

Orange don't for personal contracts, but do for business. I asked
them that very question about a year ago.

Ended up with two contracts but one physical bill.

 

I'm sure it was.

You are, you know. But - whatever.

 

I think you can do this with Virgin Mobile.