And so it begins...

Firework month has officially started with a bunch of cunts somewhere nearby
setting off loads of "500 repetitive, extremely loud, bangs in each box!"
fireworks.

Goody gumdrops.

Si

 

Get in touch with your inner child. Get a bigger box and cart it around
to their house.

 

You grumpy old ****. We are a few weeks onto bonfire season already.

Don't move to Sussex for FFS. Bonfire season goes on a *long* time.
Learn to enjoy it.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Rope

Oh look, it's the thrice-daily Rope "I think yeow'll foind I live in a
considerably bigger shit-hole than yeow!" thread.

How exciting.

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer as featured in
Performance Bikes and Fast Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

I'd love to claim I never threw a firework in someones garden when I
was a kid but I'd be telling porkies. I'd also love to claim I never
emptied the 'gunpowder' out of a lot of fireworks and made a decent
one out of the bits when I was a kid but that'd also be telling
porkies.

Why the **** don't you move to somewhere more suited to your attitude
towards life? I'll suggest 6' underground as a starting point.

 

Using the patented Mavis Beacon "Hunt&Peck" Technique, Rope

Look, if even you find it boring, why do you bother doing it?

--
Wicked Uncle Nigel - Podium Placed Ducati Race Engineer as featured in
Performance Bikes and Fast Bikes

WS* GHPOTHUF#24 APOSTLE#14 DLC#1 COFF#20 BOTAFOT#150 HYPO#0(KoTL) IbW#41
SBS#39 OMF#6 Enfield 500 Curry House Racer "The Basmati Rice Burner",
Honda GL1000K2 (On its hols) Kawasaki ZN1300 Voyager "Oh, Oh, It's so big"
Suzuki TS250 "The Africa Single" Yamaha Vmax Honda ST1100 wiv trailer

 

It sounds like they're having fun, I hope you called the Police.

 

<waits for news of first firework asbo>

 

I wouldn't mind if they weren't just the one-massive-bang-a-second variety.
I likes an "ooooh!" as much as the next GOC, and occasionally an "aaaah!"
too but these are just dull and irritating.

I also have three Yorkshire terriers, the smallest of which weighs around
2lbs and she's petrified of fireworks. Her weight isn't really relevant but
it makes the image so much more amusing when you imagine a hairy mosquito
vibrating like a small hairy vibrating thing.

Si

 

I wrote to the Daily Mail too.

Si

 

Bangers down scaffold poles stuck in to the ground as mortars was my
favourite. The old 5,4,3,2,1 bangers were the best for that for getting
your timing right. Oh and in bottles lobbed in the river.

Not forgetting making slow fuse out of string soaked in strong saltpetre
solution and dried out. Wrap blue touchpaper around length of fuse.
Place banger on Girl's Life Brigade hut windowsill and light. Go round
front and engage girlies in conversation. Bannnggg! "Wasn't us - we'll
go and get those yobs for you".

Cutting open the bangers and packing the gunpowder in to a home made
smoothbore using copper pipe and a ball bearing, as one acquaintance
did, was probably a bit OTT with the benefit of hindsight.

Strangely our antics never seemed to go on so late in to the night as
they do now though.
--

+-------------------------------------------------------------+
| Pete Fisher at Home: |
| Voxan Roadster Gilera Nordwest Yamaha WR250Z |
| Gilera GFR Moto Morini 2C/375 |
+-------------------------------------------------------------+

 

In most cases, dogs that are scared of fireworks have that behaviour
reinforced by the owner making lots of "there, there; don't worry" noises.

 

I'll give you "grumpy old ****"... I hope the cock of anyone who sets
off fireworks outside of the week containing November 5th, goes
gangrenous and drops off after a slow, lingering, painful rotting
process. Or the fireworks blow up in their faces and maim them.

My dog is terrified of the humongous, ground-shaking,
earthquake-inducing things that are available nowadays and spends most
of November cowering and literally shitting himself. I get no sleep and
get to spend a fortune on animal tranquilisers that don't work because
the dog's high adrenaline level counteracts them. My dog is more
important to me than the leisure activities of the local council-house
scrotes. If it was only for a week, I could manage the situation, but it
isn't. **** 'em all, right in the eyes. Third degree burns all round, if
there's any justice.

How's that for grumpy?

 

Glad to see you are finally reflecting on your effect on others..

Phil

 

What are you on? 'warped anthropomorphic fantasy'?

You utterly cretinous idiot. The human-dog relationship is probably one
of the oldest symbiotic relationship we have. No 'warped
anthropomorphic fantasy' about it at all - as you would probably know
if you bothered to ever have a dog or bothered to think past your
microcephalic hidebound prejudices.

Phil

 

So why does my dog continue to do it when all he gets is "Shut the **** up
and go and lie down!"?

 

Guilty as charged. It did push one of the few of my hot-buttons though.

Yeah - but if it was Porl we would know it was a wind-up..

Phil

 

You may believe that you dislike the idea, but that's never stopped
you pampering our cats just like any normal animal-lover. I detect a
certain hypocrisy...

--
_______
..'_/_|_\_'. Ace (brucedotrogers a.t rochedotcom)
\`\ | /`/ GSX-R1000K3 (slightly broken, currently missing)
`\\ | //' BOTAFOT#3, SbS#2, UKRMMA#13, DFV#8, SKA#2, IBB#10
`\|/`
`

 

Why? Building symbiotic webs is an entirely normal thing (and not just
done by humans either). Sure - people that have pets and treat them
like humans are really quite sad but the majority of people that I know
that have dogs (me included) value them as dogs and not as just 'people
that can't talk'.

Phil

 

<Sharp intake of breath>

Phil