"And it was going so well...."

Simon Atkinson · Mar 1, 2005

MikeH said:

OK.

My old beetle (proper one, with bodywork made out of melted-down
german army surplus bombs, not like those modern things) ran on the
front two cylinders after the crank broke. Made less power though
(not that it made much with four cylinders). It was strange to look
at though, seeing the dynamo pulley sitting there unmoving with the
engine patently running and making engine noises.
Click to expand...

Pah - kids stuff. A proper bodge would have been to make another
flywheel for the rear cylinders from a paving slab and drive it like
that for years. Front cylinders driving the wheels and rear cylinders
driving the dynamo.

Ben Blaney · Mar 1, 2005

Simon said:

That's the spirit.

<prepares space for tales of derring-do with broken engines>
Click to expand...

What's the odds that all the stories will be of shitty old kwackers?

PeterT · Mar 1, 2005

Timo Geusch grabbed the crayons and scrawled

sweller scribbled on the back of a napkin:

Neal said:

Expect a fuller report when the breakdown truck delivers him home.
Click to expand...

Oh what joy:
http://www.sweller.dynalias.org/turbobang/ [crappy phone camera]
Click to expand...

Oh arse.
Click to expand...

Where have you been around that time yesterday then?

Champ · Mar 1, 2005

What's the odds that all the stories will be of shitty old kwackers?
Click to expand...

Hmmm. I once forgot to do up the clamps on the carbs of my Z750 and
the resultant leaning of of the mixture holed a piston. Rode that
home on three too.
--
Please add "imo" to above post.
Champ
GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZX7RR Endurance Racer x 2
GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 WG*#1 DFV#8
Team UKRM Racing : www.team-ukrm.com

MikeH · Mar 1, 2005

Bear said:

MikeH says... said:

"Always aim to be the *second*-fastest vehicle on the road ..."

A quote from Pip a little while ago. Good advice.[1]
Click to expand...

Sorry, but not necessarily true; I used to ride to that sort of theory
(a.k.a. "The Sacrificial Lamb Technique"), and it works well when in a
car, but I've since been told that, if you're on a bike, and if the
dibbles are feeling lazy, then they *may* pick up the first vehicle they
come to that they have evidence against (I.e. you), and not bother going
after Mr Speedy. The "bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush" system,
as it were.

There's no hard and fast rule, it's a judgement call (for them as much
as you). Personally, if I know I've been doing mental speeds, and I've
got some room (traffic density isn't nightmarish) and they're in a car,
and they've not got close enough to read my plate, I'm off. If I'm using
a moody plate, I'm off, and only if I've not been paying attention and
they've got my plate (I.e. they've closed to a reasonable distance) do I
stop. The latter tends to apply to bike plod most of all, as usually you
have to be riding like a big girl's blouse to let a car catch you. I'm
far less likely to run from bike plod as it's a bit of a gamble; some of
them aren't very quick, others are sodding rapid, and a Pan Euro is far
closer to a sportsbike in performance terms than, say, a traffic car.

Oh, and if you're not quick enough to break visual contact inside, say,
30 seconds, don't bother. Most forces have access to helicopters these
days, which are "game over" on the speeding front, and it's the "****,
he's *gone*!" effect that will cause them to discontinue pursuit;
ramping up the speed notch by notch will just see them try to hang on.

The other factor is time, not speed; if you briefly blat from 70 to 150,
then straight back down again, on a clear road, it's a sodding
nightmare, evidence-wise, unless they had a roadside laser gun on you.
It's sustained high-speed naughties that are more risky.
Click to expand...

Thanks. Some things I hadn't thought about there.

TBH, I'm not sure I'm made of the right stuff to try and clear off if I
spot them behind.

I've probably seen Sheriff John Bunny and the hair of doom too many
times, and with his "He thought he could . . .[1] but he was wrong" lines.

I guess I need more high-speed training and experience than I've had so far.

"You'll never take me alive, copper".
Eek get out of the way oh bugger low fuel it's starting to rain wonder
if I can the waterproofs on at this speed I bet the tyres are wearing
wonder if this satnav has a "getaway route" button hope my shopping
doesn't come off the handlebars

[1] Insert variant of 'get away with it' here

MikeH · Mar 1, 2005

Bear said:

That's what I meant; even I'm not daft enough to believe duct tape and a
hopeful heart would have helped you out in that case
Click to expand...

Well obviously for something on that scale you'd need baling wire.

Simon Atkinson · Mar 1, 2005

Ben said:

What's the odds that all the stories will be of shitty old kwackers?
Click to expand...

Looking good odds at the moment...

I'll have a quid on an eastern european one coming along later please
Ben.

MikeH · Mar 1, 2005

Bear said:

For the record, if I've not been doing stupid, guaranteed-ban speeds, I
tend to stop, as I'm fairly good at talking my way out of things. The
problem is that, these days, even what we'd think of as fairly innocuous
speeds are likely to get you a ban; I mean, it's not as if, say, 120 mph
is what you'd call "fast" on a modern sportsbike.
Click to expand...

I've found this over the years - as my bikes have got "better" I either
have to ride quicker or at the same speed on less appropriate roads to
get the same feeling of going fast.

Maybe I need a small unfaired bike with incorrect tyre pressures and
siezed-up suspension to keep things "interesting".

Well indeed; there are lots of other factors, as you say; the fuel thing
doesn't bother me any more, because if you can't get clear in, say, 2
miles, you're *probably* fucked anyway, and yes, route planning would
have a bearing too; if I don't know an area I'm less likely to try it
on, because there's always the chance I'll get it wrong and pick a road
with few or no junctions, so they can maintain pursuit because they know
where I am.
Click to expand...

I could see how slinging a sudden left turn to dodge pursuit could be a
"comedy moment" if you found yourself in the local traffic squad car park.

muddycat · Mar 1, 2005

John Higgins said:

Did you not say, just the other day, that you had some starting
problems? And you had only been *told* that Timo was coming over!
Click to expand...

I can see this is going to get expensive.

--
Mike

SV650
UKRMMA#22
Skype: muddycat

Simon Atkinson · Mar 1, 2005

MikeH said:

Well obviously for something on that scale you'd need baling wire.
Click to expand...

Hairy string.

Champ · Mar 1, 2005

Someone's bound to have done it at some point.
Click to expand...

When I was about 19 I did a runner from a copper, including riding
over the pavement, only to get fucking lost, and consequently caught.
The copper reckoned he'd clocked me at over 90 in a 30. Even in those
days, I was looking at a serious ban.

Nothing ever arrived in the post
--
Please add "imo" to above post.
Champ
GSX-R 1000, GPz 750 turbo, ZX7RR Endurance Racer x 2
GYASB#0 BotToS#2 BOTAFO(T|F)#35 WG*#1 DFV#8
Team UKRM Racing : www.team-ukrm.com

darsy · Mar 1, 2005

Bear said:

In the glory days you had to specifically go out of your way to even
register on Kent plod's "hooligan radar"; they were so lazy, and hated
paperwork so much, that getting nicked required an act of stupendous
lawlessness or near-terminal stupidity.

These days, of course, it's all changed.
Click to expand...

"all around here was fields".

Ben Blaney · Mar 1, 2005

Champ said:

When I was about 19 I did a runner from a copper, including riding
over the pavement, only to get fucking lost, and consequently caught.
The copper reckoned he'd clocked me at over 90 in a 30. Even in those
days, I was looking at a serious ban.

Nothing ever arrived in the post
Click to expand...

What was the weather like?

Macie · Mar 1, 2005

Someone's bound to have done it at some point.
Click to expand...

Not me, although once when I was 16, after getting pulled and asked
for my licence I decided to **** off sharpish [well as sharpish as I
could two up on and old suzuki 200ish CC bike].

After some red light transgressions and pedestrian area/footpath usage
I thought that a good plan would be to head out of town, dump the bike
and leg it. It would have been a good plan if only I hadn't emerged
back onto the highway at a local concert hall. Where there was a
concert on that evening. With a large police presence. Ho hum....
Click to expand...

Ginge · Mar 1, 2005

130 is, IME, about as far as you'd want to go with a naked bike. I've
been faster, but frankly I was scared shitless.
Click to expand...

Nonsense.

145 is perfectly acceptable on the ZRX (if you want to watch the fuel
gauge and the revcounter move in opposite directions at the almost same
kind of speed).

Whinging Courier · Mar 1, 2005

145 is perfectly acceptable on the ZRX (if you want to watch the fuel
gauge and the revcounter move in opposite directions at the almost same
kind of speed).
Click to expand...

Indeedy. I can get an indicated 160 out of mine and the only reason I'll
lay on the tank is to get it to go faster

Salad Dodger · Mar 1, 2005

What's the odds that all the stories will be of shitty old kwackers?
Click to expand...

Heh. I rode my KH250 back to Gillingham from Falconwood station, after
it holed a piston and broke a ring.

It didn't like the long climb up the M2 from the Medway.

I wouldn't like to suggest that this was a common problem with Kwak
triples, but after I got home I had a new piston in inside half an
hour. A friend had picked them up for me, and was waiting when I got
home.

We *were* supposed to be going to Donnington that evening. I went
pillion on Dave's 400 Four, in the end. With camping kit. Not a
journey I'd like to repeat in a hurry.

Do bits of piston ring in an exhaust pipe count as "external"?

Lozzo · Mar 1, 2005

Ben Blaney says...

What's the odds that all the stories will be of shitty old kwackers?
Click to expand...

I have a box of fucked Yamaha RD400 pistons that say you're wrong.

Lozzo · Mar 1, 2005

Bear says...

In the glory days you had to specifically go out of your way to even
register on Kent plod's "hooligan radar"; they were so lazy, and hated
paperwork so much, that getting nicked required an act of stupendous
lawlessness or near-terminal stupidity.
Click to expand...

My name was on the local traffic plod's "we'll have 'im" list on the
white board for about 2 years. Trouble was, they could never tell what
bike I owned at the time because I changed them almost weekly. One
copper I knew well said they just stopped every RD400 in the hope of
finding me on board one of them.

Salad Dodger · Mar 1, 2005

In the glory days you had to specifically go out of your way to even
register on Kent plod's "hooligan radar"; they were so lazy, and hated
paperwork so much, that getting nicked required an act of stupendous
lawlessness or near-terminal stupidity.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure if four endorsements before my 18th birthday support or
refute your statement.

"And it was going so well...."

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