Afghan allies turn enemies

Dane · Nov 10, 2003

29 points out that Afghanistan now produces three-fourths of the world's

opium output."
Click to expand...

heh. three-fourths.

Gary Woodman · Nov 10, 2003

"The Taliban are said to have bought 900 motorcycles in the past three
months in the Quetta region, and another 250 in Loralai. Taliban fighters
on motorcycles roam Afghanistan's rural areas attacking aid agency
vehicles and isolated police posts"

Bikers with beards. And Kalashnikovs. "And God on our side"[1]

"A UN report "Afghanistan Opium Survey 2003" that was released on October
29 points out that Afghanistan now produces three-fourths of the world's
opium output."

Three cheers for Uncle Sam!

http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Central_Asia/EK05Ag02.html

Gary

[1] The reason for fighting
I never got straight
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.

http://bobdylan.com/songs/withgod.html

Iain Chalmers · Nov 10, 2003

Gary Woodman said:

"The Taliban are said to have bought 900 motorcycles in the past three
months in the Quetta region, and another 250 in Loralai. Taliban fighters
on motorcycles roam Afghanistan's rural areas attacking aid agency
vehicles and isolated police posts"

Bikers with beards. And Kalashnikovs. "And God on our side"[1]
Click to expand...

Intact Kneeslider wrote this back in Jan '02... Maybe the Taliban are
monitoring private mailing lists for ideas...

I'd like to see how they'll report the news that the Taliban leader,
Mullah Omar, apparently evaded capture at the hands of US Special
Forces by making a getaway by motorcycle...

Naturally enough, he would've done this on a traillie... and marketing
people from all the major manufacturers are right now falling over
each other trying to find out what make and model it was, so we can
have TV ads like this:

Sweeping night shot of hamlet in mountains of some loser country; it
is important that we don't know which... yet.
Caption types across screen in pixellated, early-80's-terminal green:
A... F... G... H... A... (isn't the suspense killing you?) N... I...
S... T... A... N, then, more quickly,
HIDEOUT OF TALIBAN SPIRITUAL LEADER, MULLAH MOHAMMED OMAR, TERRORIST
ASSHOLE, then, finally, 0315 ZULU.
Flare goes off centre-shot, blinding the camera pink. Helicopters are
heard, shouting in distended tongues, crunch of running boots on
gritty soil, gunfire, grenades, chortling death cries of men shot
through the throat. Camera reels, nothing seen can be made sense of...
Cut to another wide shot of hamlet, mountainside rocks in the
foreground. All hell's breaking loose, choppers plausibly sweeping
searchlights back and forth, red Taliban tracer and white (or green,
should you be one of the deviants who thinks Jedi was better than
Empire) American tracer crisscrossing the night.
The roiling sounds of battle are suddenly rent by the rising,
exploding bark of a big four-stroke single. It's close. The silhouette
of a trail rider leaps out from among the boulders, sundering the
distant glowing blob of battle in two with his elbows, headlight
blazing acenter his chest like the third eye of Shiva.
Throttle properly chopped and engine biding its time with an
intermittent, yet strangely prominent (after all, those are machine
guns going off nearby) mid-table-top brappp-appp-appp-appp, the bike
overflies the camera in slow-mo. Camera follows it. The carnage in the
valley had just become irrelevant.
Pebbles and nodules of soil caught in the tyres' teeth fling loose and
audibly tap down onto the ground.
Change shot. Bike explodes over from behind the camera, lands directly
in front, suspension bottoming in a spitting cloud of moonlit dust and
rocks. The rider pins it and ricochets off down a canyon, flickering
red taillight and lilting exhaust rasp bouncing along madly in his
wake.
Camera descends to the ground, resigned. A black turban tumbles across
the shot, unravelling as it goes.
Now we pace the hurtling fugitive across a flat, rock-strewn plain.
We're above and directly behind him. The bike's howling like a mad
thing, he's expertly limp, flailing, along for the ride, arse stuck
out over the rear wheel, knees and elbows a blur. We circle him,
descending to rock level and directly alongside. Two quick flashes of
bouncing livery, striking-cobra closeups of the furiously
jackhammering bike... first a number, 400, then a red, stylised "S"...
Fade to black, then across to the image of a blue, rakish dirtbike.
Roll caption: YAMAHA. FOR THOSE WHO DESERVE ESCAPE.
Click to expand...

big

kiwipete · Nov 10, 2003

Gary Woodman said:

"The Taliban are said to have bought 900 motorcycles in the past three
months in the Quetta region, and another 250 in Loralai. Taliban fighters
on motorcycles roam Afghanistan's rural areas attacking aid agency
vehicles and isolated police posts"
Click to expand...

Puts paid to that post about never seeing Muslims on bikes!

kiwipete

Gary Woodman · Nov 10, 2003

Gary Woodman said:

"The Taliban are said to have bought 900 motorcycles in the past
three months in the Quetta region, and another 250 in Loralai.
Taliban fighters on motorcycles roam Afghanistan's rural areas
attacking aid agency vehicles and isolated police posts"

Bikers with beards. And Kalashnikovs. "And God on our side"[1]
Click to expand...

Intact Kneeslider wrote this back in Jan '02... Maybe the Taliban are
monitoring private mailing lists for ideas...

I'd like to see how they'll report the news that the Taliban leader,
Mullah Omar, apparently evaded capture at the hands of US Special
Forces by making a getaway by motorcycle...
Click to expand...

Click to expand...

He's a clever lad. Sorry I missed this, thanks Big!

Gary

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