Advice required

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife
has been cheating on me. The usual signs . . . phone rings, but if I answer
the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot
recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends
from work, you don't know them." I always stay awake to look out for her
taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive, although I can hear
a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner.
Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to
see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never
touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never broached this subject with my wife. I think deep down
I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and
I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my Ducati
next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the
whole street when she comes home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Ducati, that I noticed that the clutch cover on my engine seem to be leaking
a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to
the dealer?

Thanks,
Jim

 

Heh, good one, Al.

Kind regards
Dave Milligan

 

Same answers apply to both wifey and bikey:

1) Has it recently been serviced

2) Have you checked for leaks, drips, weeps or dribbles before?

 

Alan Pennykid wrote:
...snip

Dear Jim,

Your Ducati has a dry clutch, if you have oil leaking around your
clutch you need to get it to a dealer immediately as you have a major
problem.

Regards

Abby

 

Take out a life insurance policy on your wife and arrange to be out in a
very public place whislt someone does the deed on your wife ( I have very
competitive rates ).

Use the money to buy a brand new ducatti plus some adorable hookers for
company ( maybe black betty can help you there )

 

You know damned well that servicing after marriage just doesn't happen...
and if it does, then it wasn't by you and presumably you won't know about
it.

As for number 2 - refer number 1.

Bloody Triumph riders - NFI.

Cheers,
Dave E
When are you going to buy a real bike mate?

 

Dave E wrote:

<snigger>

regards,
CrazyCam

 

better tell bigiian about his problem seems he has an oil clutch as well

 

[Applause]

 

Since most Ducati's have dry clutches, it should definitely go to the
dealer....

P

 

The "little" two valve motors all got wet clutches - the 600s and 750s,
and the 620s and 800s. The 900s and the new 1000 motors have dry
clutches (tho rumours suggest next year at least some of the 1000s will
have wet clutches). All the 4 valve motors have wet clutches. I'm not
sure about the 3 valve motors...

big

 

--------------------------------------------------^^^
that should of course read "All the 4 valve motors have dry clutches"...

Grrr...

big

 

_My_ 3-valve motors have all had wet clutches.
(What--you weren't asking about Hondas?)

Postman Pat (CB250 and XL650V 3-valvers...)