1984 now

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national
ID
number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number
are
you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very
high
blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
Care
provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local
library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right . Give me two family-sized ones,
then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
kids, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can
be a
little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up.

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics."

[Note - I found a reference to the author being "Rick Card",
--
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And prolly funnier too. Couldn't have been less so, after all.

 

ß Ø ® G wrote:

You'd think they'd have CLID, wouldn't you?

 

who said it was funny ?
--
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watch out for spam trap in header

Free Phone Unlocking
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10p a Picture Message/MMS
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http://www.davessite.co.uk
Trike Power the TRUE Trinity

 

Because the OP thought it was funny/insightful when he posted it but is now
back-pedalling[1].


[1] I'm a miserable fucker today for some reason.

 

Come on ffs. There's a thread up there where people are talking about going
to the fucking dentist.